How To Get Your Man Back With Reverse Psychology?

How To Get Your Man Back With Reverse Psychology
How to Get Your Man Back with Reverse Psychology: Win Back Your Ex

  1. He’ll feel like you’re denying his power to choose you. Try this method by telling your ex something like this: “I was never right for you anyway. Go find yourself someone who really excites and interests you.” Your ex will feel like you’re taking away his agency to make his own choice. So, even if he wasn’t all that interested in getting you back, he might feel compelled to do it just to show you he can.
    • This is the same form of reverse psychology you might use with a kid and ice cream choices: “No, you don’t want the vanilla, it’s not very good. Get the chocolate.”
    • Techniques like this fit what you might call the “textbook” form of reverse psychology: telling someone the opposite of what you want to happen in order to get what you want.
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  1. Remind him there was a lot he didn’t “get right” with you. Your ex doesn’t want to think that the relationship was a total failure, since that makes him a failure in some way. Give him subtle reminders that a lot of things went wrong during the relationship—but do it without blaming him directly. Instead of challenging him, let him challenge himself to prove that he can get things right with you.
    • For example: “Remember that time we went for a beach getaway? What a disaster that turned out to be! Just a sign of things to come, I guess.”
  1. Turn the relationship into “forbidden fruit” he can’t have. Yes, this seems contradictory to the step on bad-mouthing the relationship, but it’s still based on challenging your ex’s power. Forget the bad stuff and remind him only of the great parts of the relationship, but then subtly forbid him from trying to recapture it: “Boy, that was a great trip. Remember how much we laughed? But when it’s over, it’s over—there’s no going back.”
    • Definitely try this strategy out on a guy who hates being told what to do!
    • This is a bit like talking up broccoli as the most fun food to eat ever, but then telling your kid “too bad you said you’d never eat broccoli.”
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  1. Keep telling him what he can’t do so he’ll prove you wrong. Save this strategy for an ex who isn’t actually trying to pursue you. Give him a “no-go” request each time you chat with him: “Please don’t try to get back together with me. I have to move on.” Before long, he may feel like he just has to show you that he gets to call the shots on what he does.
    • This one’s best used on an ex who lets his emotions take charge and who despises any feeling of being bossed around.
  1. Challenge his power by putting the power in his hands. Here’s an example of what you might tell him: “I wish things were different and we could give it another try. But I can’t force you to change your mind. Only you can decide what you want to do.” By saying this, you’re challenging him to show that he actually has the power you say he has. And people typically show they have power by doing something instead of doing nothing—in this case, the very “something” you actually want.
    • You might remember a parent using this kind of strategy on you in hopes of getting you to clean your room: “If this was my room I’d want to clean up this mess. But it’s your room and only you can choose how to keep it. I can’t make you do it.”
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  1. Subtly challenge his ability to control things. Using this “it just wasn’t meant to be” tactic may make him feel like it could have been “meant to be” if he had more control over the situation. In turn, he’ll want to show his ability to take control and, if things turn out the way you hope, take you back to prove he can make the timing be right.
    • Try saying something like this: “It’s too bad things never lined up right for us. You had your stuff going on, then I had my stuff—it’s like it just wasn’t supposed to happen.”
    • This tactic starts to bridge the gap between the “saying the opposite of what you want” and the “playing hard to get” varieties of reverse psychology. While the first variety is more effective if your ex tends to let his emotions take charge, the second tends to be more broadly effective.
  1. This classic strategy is a more subtle reverse psychology. And it includes many of the techniques you’ve seen in the movies: take your time responding to his messages, and sometimes “forget” to respond at all. Keep mentioning how busy you are all the time. Act like you’re super happy now that the relationship is over (without directly saying that’s why). Wear an outfit that drives him wild and say something like, “This old thing? I just threw it on. I forgot how much you like it.”
    • With this strategy, you’re not really trying to get him to do the opposite of what you’re saying, but rather to want what he can’t have. But you’re still purposely acting one way to get him to respond in another way.
    • This technique often works even if your ex is a more calm and rational type that isn’t as susceptible to more straightforward reverse psychology.
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  1. Double-down on “hard to get” if it seems to be working. Mention how you’re trying all these new things that you always wanted to do. Post pics that show how great your life is right now. Let it slip “accidentally” that you have a date with a really great guy coming up. Post some of those happy pics that include your new guy!
    • You’re walking a fine line here, since it’s possible your ex will just accept that you’ve moved on and that he has no chance to get you back. A guy who lets his emotions take control is less likely to give up and more likely to accept the challenge of getting you back.
  1. Try this instead of doing him favors to get him back. Asking someone for a favor sounds like an odd way to get them to like you, but it really can work! Text him and ask for a ride home because your car ran out of gas. Call and ask if he can fix your wonky modem like he used to. Ask very politely and give him a huge thanks afterward: “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you doing this. You’re really an awesome guy.”
    • Why does this work? Doing someone else a favor is a sacrifice, and people tend to justify it by telling themselves that they must like the other person.
    • How might this work in your case? Once your ex does you a favor, he might tell himself he must like you. If so, he might try to justify that feeling by getting back together with you.
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  1. Are you using reverse psychology because you’re afraid to be honest? If you keep trying to use reverse psychology when it isn’t working, there’s a good chance that you’re making excuses not to put yourself out there and be honest with your ex about how you feel and what you want. It’s true that this might lead to a direct rejection and the end of your hope of getting back together, but at least you’ll get some closure.
    • Here’s an example of how to start an honest conversation: “Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I really wish we hadn’t broken up and that we could get back together. I know you might not feel that way right now, but can we talk a little about what I’ve been thinking and feeling?”
  1. Using it day-to-day impedes honest communication and growth. If reverse psychology helps you get back together with your ex, you’ll be really tempted to keep using it to get what you want in the relationship. You might want to use it for little things like choosing a movie, or big things like choosing where to live. Remind yourself that it’s okay to use in moderation but shouldn’t become the basis for your relationship.
    • If you’re only relying on reverse psychology to keep things humming along, it’s as if your entire relationship is a falsehood. At some point, a healthy relationship requires open and honest communication, especially about differences of opinion.
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Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin’s premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love.

Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker’s Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love. Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.

This article has been viewed 47,945 times.

  • Co-authors: 3
  • Updated: January 27, 2022
  • Views: 47,945


Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 47,945 times. : How to Get Your Man Back with Reverse Psychology: Win Back Your Ex

Does reverse psychology work in relationships?

Final Thoughts about How to Use Reverse Psychology – Reverse psychology is a great way to encourage someone you love (or don’t like) to do what you want without being obvious. However, this tactic does have its cons and can cause problems in the relationship if it’s used too often or in the wrong situation.

  1. It’s important to be careful about how often you use this tactic and make sure that both people are on the same page.
  2. When someone is stubborn and they know what you want them to do, this tactic can help get them there without making them feel like they’re being manipulated.
  3. While we learned a great deal about reverse psychology, we also learned it may not always be the right way to go.

So, if you want to flip the script and become more direct, look at 9 Assertive Behavior Examples to Help You Succeed in Life, Finally, if you want to increase your happiness and life satisfaction, then watch this free video that details the 7-minute habit for planning your day to focus on what’s important,

How do you convince someone with reverse psychology?

Reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that involves getting someone to engage in the desired action or response by suggesting the opposite. For example, a daughter can tell her father she doesn’t mind that he’s too busy to come to watch her play soccer, in a bid to make him attend a game.

Can guys lose feelings and get them back?

Last Updated on May 30, 2022 by Once a guy loses interest can you get it back? Yes, you can get a guy’s interest back once he loses it because he was once captivated by you. Your job is to figure out what’s changed and fix it. Most men don’t just wake up one morning and decide they’ve lost interest, it’s a process.

What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup?

7. When do guys start missing their ex? When they miss being in a relationship – Men start craving the emotional support after a breakup Loneliness is what makes a man miss a woman after a breakup. When a man misses you, they will crave the cuddles and the emotional stability and always having someone to do things with. Naturally, they will miss you when this happens.

Can reverse psychology backfire?

Reverse psychology is when your true intent differs from what you ask a person to do. This method can be helpful or harmful. If you’ve ever asked someone to do something that was the opposite of what you actually wanted them to do, there’s a good chance you were using reverse psychology.

  • When a person responds by doing exactly what you wanted them to do despite that you asked them to do something else, then your strategy was effective.
  • Similar to passive-aggressive behavior, reverse psychology is an indirect approach to getting what you want.
  • Even with the best of intentions, reverse psychology can backfire.

While reverse psychology can be useful in many situations, it’s important to know when this persuasive technique is potentially harmful to others.

How does reverse psychology work on an ex?

Reverse Psychology Text Message For an Ex

  • Reverse psychology is about making a person feel like you are telling them what to do, which then makes them want to do the opposite, to feel like they are in control or to spite you.
  • Yet, that usually results in you getting what you want anyway!
  • In the case of a guy texting an ex woman, he can use reverse psychology to get her back, or to at least make her open up to him again.
  • Here are 3 examples of how to use reverse psychology on your ex when you text her:

How do you make a man regret losing?

25. Talk to him – When you are in a much calmer state, get out there and talk to him face to face. Tell him how he made you feel and what state you were in after he broke up with you. Show him what he did to you and how you picked yourself up from there and fixed yourself.

How long does it take for a man to realize he messed up?

How long does it take a man to realize he messed up? – How To Get Your Man Back With Reverse Psychology So, will he realize he messed up and at least apologize or admit his mistake? Well, there is no set time limit. In general, many men start to experience loneliness and guilt after completely moving out of their lives. They may start to display messed-up signs near you or your common acquaintances to relay the message to you.

Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup, He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time. So, if you are a man and have already realized when you messed up in a relationship, be open about it.

Openly telling your feelings may even give you a second chance! Related Reading: 5 Ways on How to Make Him Realize He Made a Mistake

Will distance bring him closer?

How to Get Closer to Someone You Love: Pull Away When You Want to Push Closer – This is where the passion paradox comes in. It’s like a Chinese Finger Trap, although in reverse. In the Chinese Finger Trap, if you want to get your fingers out, you push them in.

In a love relationship, if you want to get your partner more involved, try acting less involved. When they pull away, you pull away—even further than they have. Why does paradoxical action work? And why are you more likely to lose your lover when you act as your passion tells you to? It’s simple. You have an ideal emotional distance you want to keep; so do they.

If you want less distance and pull them toward you, they will want more distance to carry the relationship back toward their comfort level. But if you distance yourself more than they ideally would like, chances are they then will start to pull to bring you closer—again toward the level of involvement they want.

You then have regained the power you lost when you pulled them toward you to a point that was too close for their level of comfort. The same principle applies to intimacy and commitment, of course. But it is with passion that you may most strongly feel that you are losing your partner or failing to acquire them.

So, if your partner or potential partner is acting distant, act more distant, even if that is the opposite of what you ideally would like. Pull away to pull closer.

Does reverse psychology work to get an ex back?

If you’re trying to get your man back, reverse psychology is a strategy that’s definitely worth thinking about. It often works if your ex is the kind of guy who naturally tries to defend challenges to his power, but it’s also a strategy that can be overused.

How do you tell if someone is using reverse psychology on you?

Reverse psychology is when your true intent differs from what you ask a person to do. This method can be helpful or harmful. If you’ve ever asked someone to do something that was the opposite of what you actually wanted them to do, there’s a good chance you were using reverse psychology.

  • When a person responds by doing exactly what you wanted them to do despite that you asked them to do something else, then your strategy was effective.
  • Similar to passive-aggressive behavior, reverse psychology is an indirect approach to getting what you want.
  • Even with the best of intentions, reverse psychology can backfire.

While reverse psychology can be useful in many situations, it’s important to know when this persuasive technique is potentially harmful to others.

Is reverse psychology a form of manipulation?

Summary and conclusions –

Reverse psychology is a manipulation technique that involves getting people to do something by prompting them to do the opposite.For example, a parent might use reverse psychology on their child by telling them “you probably won’t be able to eat all this broccoli”, in order to get their child to finish the broccoli.Reverse psychology works primarily because when people feel pressured to act a certain way, they try to do the opposite in order to assert their autonomy and increase their sense of control.You can use reverse psychology in various ways, such as discouraging the target behavior or encouraging the opposite; however, before you do this, make sure that reverse psychology is the right course of action, and consider its potential downsides, such as the damage that it can cause to your relationships.To deal with someone using reverse psychology on you, you should first recognize what they’re doing, and then think through your options and pick your best course of action, which can include things such as asking the other person for more information, calling them out on their behavior, or following a different course of action than the ones they mentioned.

What does reverse psychology do to a person?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Reverse psychology is a technique involving the assertion of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what is actually desired.

  • This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against.
  • This may work especially well on a person who is resistant by nature, while direct requests work best for people who are compliant.

The one being manipulated is usually unaware of what is really going on.