How To Play Reverse Psychology On A Guy?
How to Get Your Man Back with Reverse Psychology: Win Back Your Ex
- He’ll feel like you’re denying his power to choose you. Try this method by telling your ex something like this: “I was never right for you anyway. Go find yourself someone who really excites and interests you.” Your ex will feel like you’re taking away his agency to make his own choice. So, even if he wasn’t all that interested in getting you back, he might feel compelled to do it just to show you he can.
- This is the same form of reverse psychology you might use with a kid and ice cream choices: “No, you don’t want the vanilla, it’s not very good. Get the chocolate.”
- Techniques like this fit what you might call the “textbook” form of reverse psychology: telling someone the opposite of what you want to happen in order to get what you want.
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- Remind him there was a lot he didn’t “get right” with you. Your ex doesn’t want to think that the relationship was a total failure, since that makes him a failure in some way. Give him subtle reminders that a lot of things went wrong during the relationship—but do it without blaming him directly. Instead of challenging him, let him challenge himself to prove that he can get things right with you.
- For example: “Remember that time we went for a beach getaway? What a disaster that turned out to be! Just a sign of things to come, I guess.”
- Turn the relationship into “forbidden fruit” he can’t have. Yes, this seems contradictory to the step on bad-mouthing the relationship, but it’s still based on challenging your ex’s power. Forget the bad stuff and remind him only of the great parts of the relationship, but then subtly forbid him from trying to recapture it: “Boy, that was a great trip. Remember how much we laughed? But when it’s over, it’s over—there’s no going back.”
- Definitely try this strategy out on a guy who hates being told what to do!
- This is a bit like talking up broccoli as the most fun food to eat ever, but then telling your kid “too bad you said you’d never eat broccoli.”
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- Keep telling him what he can’t do so he’ll prove you wrong. Save this strategy for an ex who isn’t actually trying to pursue you. Give him a “no-go” request each time you chat with him: “Please don’t try to get back together with me. I have to move on.” Before long, he may feel like he just has to show you that he gets to call the shots on what he does.
- This one’s best used on an ex who lets his emotions take charge and who despises any feeling of being bossed around.
- Challenge his power by putting the power in his hands. Here’s an example of what you might tell him: “I wish things were different and we could give it another try. But I can’t force you to change your mind. Only you can decide what you want to do.” By saying this, you’re challenging him to show that he actually has the power you say he has. And people typically show they have power by doing something instead of doing nothing—in this case, the very “something” you actually want.
- You might remember a parent using this kind of strategy on you in hopes of getting you to clean your room: “If this was my room I’d want to clean up this mess. But it’s your room and only you can choose how to keep it. I can’t make you do it.”
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- Subtly challenge his ability to control things. Using this “it just wasn’t meant to be” tactic may make him feel like it could have been “meant to be” if he had more control over the situation. In turn, he’ll want to show his ability to take control and, if things turn out the way you hope, take you back to prove he can make the timing be right.
- Try saying something like this: “It’s too bad things never lined up right for us. You had your stuff going on, then I had my stuff—it’s like it just wasn’t supposed to happen.”
- This tactic starts to bridge the gap between the “saying the opposite of what you want” and the “playing hard to get” varieties of reverse psychology. While the first variety is more effective if your ex tends to let his emotions take charge, the second tends to be more broadly effective.
- This classic strategy is a more subtle reverse psychology. And it includes many of the techniques you’ve seen in the movies: take your time responding to his messages, and sometimes “forget” to respond at all. Keep mentioning how busy you are all the time. Act like you’re super happy now that the relationship is over (without directly saying that’s why). Wear an outfit that drives him wild and say something like, “This old thing? I just threw it on. I forgot how much you like it.”
- With this strategy, you’re not really trying to get him to do the opposite of what you’re saying, but rather to want what he can’t have. But you’re still purposely acting one way to get him to respond in another way.
- This technique often works even if your ex is a more calm and rational type that isn’t as susceptible to more straightforward reverse psychology.
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- Double-down on “hard to get” if it seems to be working. Mention how you’re trying all these new things that you always wanted to do. Post pics that show how great your life is right now. Let it slip “accidentally” that you have a date with a really great guy coming up. Post some of those happy pics that include your new guy!
- You’re walking a fine line here, since it’s possible your ex will just accept that you’ve moved on and that he has no chance to get you back. A guy who lets his emotions take control is less likely to give up and more likely to accept the challenge of getting you back.
- Try this instead of doing him favors to get him back. Asking someone for a favor sounds like an odd way to get them to like you, but it really can work! Text him and ask for a ride home because your car ran out of gas. Call and ask if he can fix your wonky modem like he used to. Ask very politely and give him a huge thanks afterward: “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you doing this. You’re really an awesome guy.”
- Why does this work? Doing someone else a favor is a sacrifice, and people tend to justify it by telling themselves that they must like the other person.
- How might this work in your case? Once your ex does you a favor, he might tell himself he must like you. If so, he might try to justify that feeling by getting back together with you.
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- Are you using reverse psychology because you’re afraid to be honest? If you keep trying to use reverse psychology when it isn’t working, there’s a good chance that you’re making excuses not to put yourself out there and be honest with your ex about how you feel and what you want. It’s true that this might lead to a direct rejection and the end of your hope of getting back together, but at least you’ll get some closure.
- Here’s an example of how to start an honest conversation: “Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I really wish we hadn’t broken up and that we could get back together. I know you might not feel that way right now, but can we talk a little about what I’ve been thinking and feeling?”
- Using it day-to-day impedes honest communication and growth. If reverse psychology helps you get back together with your ex, you’ll be really tempted to keep using it to get what you want in the relationship. You might want to use it for little things like choosing a movie, or big things like choosing where to live. Remind yourself that it’s okay to use in moderation but shouldn’t become the basis for your relationship.
- If you’re only relying on reverse psychology to keep things humming along, it’s as if your entire relationship is a falsehood. At some point, a healthy relationship requires open and honest communication, especially about differences of opinion.
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Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin’s premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love.
Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker’s Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love. Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.
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Contents
What is a good example of reverse psychology?
Reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that involves getting someone to engage in the desired action or response by suggesting the opposite. For example, a daughter can tell her father she doesn’t mind that he’s too busy to come to watch her play soccer, in a bid to make him attend a game.
Is reverse psychology like manipulation?
– Reverse psychology is a strategy that many people use to influence a situation to achieve their desired outcome. When your true intent is different from what you ask a person to do, you are using reverse psychology. The result is that the other person behaves the way you would genuinely like them to, even though you didn’t ask them directly.
- Psychologists use the term “strategic self-anticonformity” to describe reverse psychology because a person’s communicated request is in direct opposition to their actual desire.
- Research from 2010 shows that strategic self-anticonformity is an effective method of persuasion that can also generate a sense of reassurance between individuals.
If you’re on the receiving end of reverse psychology, you will likely experience a psychological phenomenon known as reactance, which is a strong negative or emotional reaction in opposition to how another person is attempting to influence you. The catch is that you’re responding precisely how they wanted you to.
How do you get someone to admit they like you girl?
Liking someone new can be an exciting, but nerve-wrecking feeling. Getting a girl to admit that she likes you can be a bit tricky, especially if you’re not ready to tell her that you like her. Treating a girl well, flirting with her, and being honest about your feelings are all great ways to give her the confidence to tell you that she likes you.
- 1 Tell her how you feel, If the subtle hints you’re giving a girl don’t cause her to admit that she likes you, try having a blunt conversation with her. Girls appreciate honesty, and don’t like to feel like they are getting played, so you making the first move will make her feel more comfortable. Telling her that you have feelings for her may cause her to tell you that she likes you as well.
- 2 Ask her if she likes you, If you’re not getting a clear answer from her, you should simply ask her if she likes you. Don’t catch her by surprise or make her feel uncomfortable. Express to her that you have feelings for her and ask her if she feels the same way. Let her know that her actions have led you to believe that she likes you, and you want to know for sure.
- You can try: “When we talk and spend time together, I feel like we have a great connection. I’ve been wanting to ask you if you have feelings for me, because I have feelings for you.”
- You could also try saying something like, “I’ve liked you for a while now, and I was hoping you had feelings for me too. Do you?”
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- 3 Ask her on a date, The ultimate way to get a girl to admit that she likes you is to ask her on a date. If she agrees, she’s basically telling you that she’s interested in you as well. This may take some courage, but if you really like this girl and want to find out if she likes you, it will be worth it.
- 4 Do not pressure a girl into saying something she doesn’t mean. Just because you like a girl doesn’t mean she has to like you back. If you have expressed that you like her and she has told you that she doesn’t feel the same way, you need to respect her choice. If a girl tells you that she doesn’t like you, do not be upset with her or yell at her.
- If a girl tells you she doesn’t like you back but you still want to be friends, you should say something like “I understand. I still think that you’re an amazing person, and I’d still like to be friends.”
- If a girl tells you she doesn’t like you back and you’re not sure if you can handle being friends, you should keep your response sweet and simple. Say something like “I understand. Thanks for being honest with me.”
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- 1 Spend time together alone. If you like a girl, and you’re pretty sure she likes you, it’s important to spend some alone time together. Hanging out with a group of friends together can be fun, but it won’t allow you two to make a personal connection. Break off from your group of friends from time to time to have meaningful conversations and get to know each other one-on-one.
- 2 Ask her questions about her life. Talk to her about her goals and her dreams, about her family, and about her interests. Showing her that you genuinely care about her will make it easier for her to open up to you about her feelings for you.
- You’ll also learn more about her, which can make future conversations more intimate and easier to initiate.
- 3 Do fun things together. If you do something fun together, she will remember it. Ask her what types of things she likes to do for fun, and do those things. Once she realizes that she has enjoyed hanging out with you on multiple occasions, she may be more comfortable admitting that she likes you.
- Creating enjoyable memories together is a great way to continuously remind someone how much they enjoy spending time with you.
- 4 Pay attention to her body language, If you’re unsure whether or not a girl likes you, her body language is usually a dead giveaway. Pay attention to how a girl acts when she is around you. She might be too shy to actually tell you that she likes you, but her body language will be pretty obvious.
- If she gives you her full attention when you speak, this can sometimes be a sign. When you’re talking with a group of people, it’s easy for people to get distracted and not give you their full interest. However, if she makes a point to pay attention to everything you say, this could be a sign that she likes you.
- Does she play with her hair around you? Girls often flirt with their body language by twirling their hair when they’re around someone they like. If a girl is consistently playing with her hair in a flirty way, this could be a sign she likes you. Don’t confuse this with a girl whose hair is in her way, or a girl who is putting her hair in a ponytail.
- Does she always stay close to you or find reasons to touch you? A girl will go out of her way to be physically near you if she likes you. She’ll grab your arm if you make her laugh, she’ll always sit next to you, etc.
- Does she flirt with you? This is the most obvious sign, but a girl probably likes you if she’s always flirting with you.
- 5 Find out if she has told her friends about you. When a girl likes you, she almost always tells her friends about you. In fact, they probably know as much about you as she does. If she doesn’t come right out and tell you that she’s told her friends about you, you can find out if she’s told her friends about you in a few different ways.
- Tell her a story about you telling your friends about her. For example, say “I was telling my roommate that you’ve never seen The Lion King, and he couldn’t believe it!” If you share a story like this, she may be more willing to share one of her own.
- Ask her if she’s talked to her friends about a conversation that the two of you had. If the two of you were talking about a book or a movie and had a funny disagreement, ask her if she asked her friends their opinion. If she has talked to her friends, she more than likely has told them about you.
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- 1 Flirt with her. If you’re too shy to just tell a girl that you like her, being flirtatious is a great way to show her. Give her compliments, joke around with her, be playful, and throw in casual comments or jokes about you two in a romantic way.
- For example, if she makes a comment about a bad date in her past, say something like “Our dates would be SO much better than that” with a smile.
- If you notice she’s wearing new perfume, make a comment like “I see you’re wearing a new perfume for me.” Always say these comments in a light-hearted, relaxed manner.
- 2 Take note of the things she tells you. Pay attention when the girl you like talks to you, and apply what they’ve told you to your future actions. Listen to the things she says she likes and doesn’t like, and remember those things. When you show a girl that you like her, she will be more likely to be honest about her feelings for you.
- For example, if she mentions she loves cupcakes, bring her a cupcake next time you see her.
- If she mentions that she’s struggling with a subject in school, offer to help her out.
- 3 Do kind gestures for her. Girls notice when you do kind things for them, so do kind things for the girl that you like. Don’t overdo it, or the girl might begin to feel smothered. Give her compliments and gifts every once in awhile (maybe 2-3 times per week) instead of every day.
- Kind gestures can include giving her compliments, buying her flowers, offering to rub her back or feet of she complains they are hurting, getting her presents, bringing her lunch, etc.
- 4 Ask her questions about dating. Direct your conversations toward romantic topics, like which qualities she thinks are most important in significant other. Ask her about her biggest turn-offs, too. When you engage in this type of conversation with someone who likes you, she may mention good qualities that you possess. Pay attention to see if she’s dropping clues about you.
- If you initiate this type of conversation, a girl might even go so far as to tell you that she likes you.
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Add New Question
- Question How do you get a girl to admit that she likes you over text? Courtney Quinlan is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach and the Owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding individuals a compatible partner, providing guidance throughout the dating process, and crafting events for singles in the Midwest. Courtney holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism from The University of Nebraska at Omaha. Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Answer Say something direct and honest, like “Hey, I’m interested in you. Do you have feelings for me or not?” It’s better to just cut to the chase instead of beating around the bush and playing guessing games.
- Question How can you start a conversation with a girl who seems to be interested in you? Ask her about her interests, find out if the two of you have mutual friends or other things in common, or initiate the conversation by giving her a compliment. Be nice and respectful when you talk to her.
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- Be yourself. Don’t get pressured into being something you are not just to impress her. If she likes you, she will come around when she feels ready.
- If a girl tells you that she doesn’t like you romantically, then you should give her some space. It is her choice whether or not she likes you, so don’t be forceful with her.
- Girls can be difficult so if she says no the first time give it about 2 – 3 months but keep spending time with her and don’t get to embarrassed once you ask her for the second time because if your not confident and are shaking there may be a lesser chance of a romantic relationship.
Advertisement Article Summary X If you want to get a girl to admit that she likes you, make sure you spend enough alone time together, doing fun things that you’ll both enjoy. As you get to know her better, find out if she’s told any of her friends about you, since that could be a sign that she likes you.
You may also want to drop hints that you like her, which you can do by flirting, giving her compliments, telling jokes, and making playful romantic comments toward her. For example, if she mentions going on a bad date in the past, you could say something like, “Our dates would be so much better than that.” Then, when you’re ready to take things to the next level, tell her how you feel and ask her if she likes you, too.
For more advice, like how to ask a girl on a date, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 961,863 times.
How do you use dark psychology?
In Politics – Dark psychology has been used in politics for centuries, and its use is constantly rising. There are many ways to use dark psychology in politics, but some of the most common uses include playing on fears, exploiting vulnerabilities, brainwashing, and creating divisions.
- Dark psychology can be used to manipulate people’s emotions and get them to act against their best interests.
- Politicians who use dark psychology are often skilled at creating an “us vs.
- Them” mentality, leading to division and conflict.
- They may also try to play on people’s fears or exploit their vulnerabilities to get them to vote for them or support their policies.
While dark psychology can be used for good or evil, it is often used in politics to gain power or advantage over others.
What is reverse psychology in a relationship?
What is Reverse Psychology? It’s a form of manipulation (although not always). It occurs when someone says something or acts in a way opposite to what they actually want. As a result, the other person will often do what they really want or need to do.
What is it called when you use someone to get what you want?
Other forms: exploiters An exploiter is a user, someone who takes advantage of other people or things for their own gain. Being an exploiter is selfish and unethical. To exploit someone is to use them in a way that’s wrong, like an employer who pays low wages but demands long hours.
noun a person who uses something or someone selfishly or unethically
DISCLAIMER: These example sentences appear in various news sources and books to reflect the usage of the word ‘exploiter’, Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Vocabulary.com or its editors. Send us feedback EDITOR’S CHOICE
What is reverse psychology trick?
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Reverse psychology is a technique involving the assertion of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what is actually desired.
- This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against.
- This may work especially well on a person who is resistant by nature, while direct requests work best for people who are compliant.
The one being manipulated is usually unaware of what is really going on.
Do narcissists play reverse psychology?
How Reverse Psychology Works Reverse psychology, or paradoxical intervention, is a relatively new concept in psychotherapy, Raymond says. Yet you can also think of it as, For example, all through history, people have told parents not to warn a child that they don’t want her to marry the ne’er-do-well she loves, for fear she’ll promptly wed the loser.
- But does it work on everyone and in every situation? Experts tell us reverse psychology is more likely to work on those who like to be in control — Type A folks, rebels and narcissistic people, to name a few.
- Agreeable, more passive people typically will do what you ask, so reverse psychology isn’t necessary for them.) It also tends to work better on those who are making decisions based on, rather than when calmly evaluating things,
But Raymond argues the success of its usage depends less upon personality type than on the dynamics of the relationship. “Where a person is struggling with autonomy and individuality, paradox may work because feels as if they are still resisting by doing what you tell them not to do,” Raymond says.
- As an example, she cites Julian Assange, head of the WikiLeaks site.
- The more he was told to stop, and had a ton of threats put on him by powerful countries such as the U.S.A., the more he defied and became a martyr to the cause,” she says.
- If he had been told that it was great, keep doing it (paradox) by the U.S.A., he probably wouldn’t have been so intent on it.” Thankfully, most of us aren’t pondering whether to employ reverse psychology to stop the release of sensitive government information.
No, most of us use it for rather benign reasons, and typically on kids and love interests or in business settings. : How Reverse Psychology Works
How do you use dark psychology?
In Politics – Dark psychology has been used in politics for centuries, and its use is constantly rising. There are many ways to use dark psychology in politics, but some of the most common uses include playing on fears, exploiting vulnerabilities, brainwashing, and creating divisions.
- Dark psychology can be used to manipulate people’s emotions and get them to act against their best interests.
- Politicians who use dark psychology are often skilled at creating an “us vs.
- Them” mentality, leading to division and conflict.
- They may also try to play on people’s fears or exploit their vulnerabilities to get them to vote for them or support their policies.
While dark psychology can be used for good or evil, it is often used in politics to gain power or advantage over others.
Is reverse psychology bad for relationships?
2. It doesn’t build trust. – If you are consistently being dishonest, even over silly things, like what restaurant you want to go to? It can all add up to the other person not trusting you. Always using reverse psychology also affects your own capacity to trust,
