The Classic Wanderer

How To Use Reverse Psychology On Men?

• Sabrina Sarro
• 05.05.2023
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How to Get Your Man Back with Reverse Psychology: Win Back Your Ex

1. He’ll feel like you’re denying his power to choose you. Try this method by telling your ex something like this: “I was never right for you anyway. Go find yourself someone who really excites and interests you.” Your ex will feel like you’re taking away his agency to make his own choice. So, even if he wasn’t all that interested in getting you back, he might feel compelled to do it just to show you he can.
   • This is the same form of reverse psychology you might use with a kid and ice cream choices: “No, you don’t want the vanilla, it’s not very good. Get the chocolate.”
   • Techniques like this fit what you might call the “textbook” form of reverse psychology: telling someone the opposite of what you want to happen in order to get what you want.

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1. Remind him there was a lot he didn’t “get right” with you. Your ex doesn’t want to think that the relationship was a total failure, since that makes him a failure in some way. Give him subtle reminders that a lot of things went wrong during the relationship—but do it without blaming him directly. Instead of challenging him, let him challenge himself to prove that he can get things right with you.
   • For example: “Remember that time we went for a beach getaway? What a disaster that turned out to be! Just a sign of things to come, I guess.”

1. Turn the relationship into “forbidden fruit” he can’t have. Yes, this seems contradictory to the step on bad-mouthing the relationship, but it’s still based on challenging your ex’s power. Forget the bad stuff and remind him only of the great parts of the relationship, but then subtly forbid him from trying to recapture it: “Boy, that was a great trip. Remember how much we laughed? But when it’s over, it’s over—there’s no going back.”
   • Definitely try this strategy out on a guy who hates being told what to do!
   • This is a bit like talking up broccoli as the most fun food to eat ever, but then telling your kid “too bad you said you’d never eat broccoli.”

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1. Keep telling him what he can’t do so he’ll prove you wrong. Save this strategy for an ex who isn’t actually trying to pursue you. Give him a “no-go” request each time you chat with him: “Please don’t try to get back together with me. I have to move on.” Before long, he may feel like he just has to show you that he gets to call the shots on what he does.
   • This one’s best used on an ex who lets his emotions take charge and who despises any feeling of being bossed around.

1. Challenge his power by putting the power in his hands. Here’s an example of what you might tell him: “I wish things were different and we could give it another try. But I can’t force you to change your mind. Only you can decide what you want to do.” By saying this, you’re challenging him to show that he actually has the power you say he has. And people typically show they have power by doing something instead of doing nothing—in this case, the very “something” you actually want.
   • You might remember a parent using this kind of strategy on you in hopes of getting you to clean your room: “If this was my room I’d want to clean up this mess. But it’s your room and only you can choose how to keep it. I can’t make you do it.”

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1. Subtly challenge his ability to control things. Using this “it just wasn’t meant to be” tactic may make him feel like it could have been “meant to be” if he had more control over the situation. In turn, he’ll want to show his ability to take control and, if things turn out the way you hope, take you back to prove he can make the timing be right.
   • Try saying something like this: “It’s too bad things never lined up right for us. You had your stuff going on, then I had my stuff—it’s like it just wasn’t supposed to happen.”
   • This tactic starts to bridge the gap between the “saying the opposite of what you want” and the “playing hard to get” varieties of reverse psychology. While the first variety is more effective if your ex tends to let his emotions take charge, the second tends to be more broadly effective.

1. This classic strategy is a more subtle reverse psychology. And it includes many of the techniques you’ve seen in the movies: take your time responding to his messages, and sometimes “forget” to respond at all. Keep mentioning how busy you are all the time. Act like you’re super happy now that the relationship is over (without directly saying that’s why). Wear an outfit that drives him wild and say something like, “This old thing? I just threw it on. I forgot how much you like it.”
   • With this strategy, you’re not really trying to get him to do the opposite of what you’re saying, but rather to want what he can’t have. But you’re still purposely acting one way to get him to respond in another way.
   • This technique often works even if your ex is a more calm and rational type that isn’t as susceptible to more straightforward reverse psychology.

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1. Double-down on “hard to get” if it seems to be working. Mention how you’re trying all these new things that you always wanted to do. Post pics that show how great your life is right now. Let it slip “accidentally” that you have a date with a really great guy coming up. Post some of those happy pics that include your new guy!
   • You’re walking a fine line here, since it’s possible your ex will just accept that you’ve moved on and that he has no chance to get you back. A guy who lets his emotions take control is less likely to give up and more likely to accept the challenge of getting you back.

1. Try this instead of doing him favors to get him back. Asking someone for a favor sounds like an odd way to get them to like you, but it really can work! Text him and ask for a ride home because your car ran out of gas. Call and ask if he can fix your wonky modem like he used to. Ask very politely and give him a huge thanks afterward: “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you doing this. You’re really an awesome guy.”
   • Why does this work? Doing someone else a favor is a sacrifice, and people tend to justify it by telling themselves that they must like the other person.
   • How might this work in your case? Once your ex does you a favor, he might tell himself he must like you. If so, he might try to justify that feeling by getting back together with you.

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1. Are you using reverse psychology because you’re afraid to be honest? If you keep trying to use reverse psychology when it isn’t working, there’s a good chance that you’re making excuses not to put yourself out there and be honest with your ex about how you feel and what you want. It’s true that this might lead to a direct rejection and the end of your hope of getting back together, but at least you’ll get some closure.
   • Here’s an example of how to start an honest conversation: “Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I really wish we hadn’t broken up and that we could get back together. I know you might not feel that way right now, but can we talk a little about what I’ve been thinking and feeling?”

1. Using it day-to-day impedes honest communication and growth. If reverse psychology helps you get back together with your ex, you’ll be really tempted to keep using it to get what you want in the relationship. You might want to use it for little things like choosing a movie, or big things like choosing where to live. Remind yourself that it’s okay to use in moderation but shouldn’t become the basis for your relationship.
   • If you’re only relying on reverse psychology to keep things humming along, it’s as if your entire relationship is a falsehood. At some point, a healthy relationship requires open and honest communication, especially about differences of opinion.

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Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin’s premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love.

• Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth.
• She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker’s Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love.
• Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.

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• Co-authors: 3
• Updated: January 27, 2022
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 47,945 times. : How to Get Your Man Back with Reverse Psychology: Win Back Your Ex

How do you use reverse psychology on someone?

Reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that involves getting someone to engage in the desired action or response by suggesting the opposite. For example, a daughter can tell her father she doesn’t mind that he’s too busy to come to watch her play soccer, in a bid to make him attend a game.

How is reverse psychology used in love?

Reverse psychology in love and romance – photo by: Alexis Brown The classic example of reverse psychology in romance is the advice, “If you like someone, pretend you don’t care, and that will attract them”. And then we have things like:

• pretend you aren’t jealous when you are and he’ll lose interest in others
• w ithhold any sex even if you want it, and he’ll want a long-term relationship
• say you don’t care about marriage to make him want to marry you.

A worrying use of reverse manipulation is also found in the ‘Pick Up Artist” movement, which teaches men to manipulate women into having sex. Tactics include things like the ‘mystery method’, talking to all members of a group of women while ignoring the one who is your target.

Does reverse psychology work in dating?

Final Thoughts about How to Use Reverse Psychology – Reverse psychology is a great way to encourage someone you love (or don’t like) to do what you want without being obvious. However, this tactic does have its cons and can cause problems in the relationship if it’s used too often or in the wrong situation.

• It’s important to be careful about how often you use this tactic and make sure that both people are on the same page.
• When someone is stubborn and they know what you want them to do, this tactic can help get them there without making them feel like they’re being manipulated.
• While we learned a great deal about reverse psychology, we also learned it may not always be the right way to go.

So, if you want to flip the script and become more direct, look at 9 Assertive Behavior Examples to Help You Succeed in Life, Finally, if you want to increase your happiness and life satisfaction, then watch this free video that details the 7-minute habit for planning your day to focus on what’s important,

Is reverse psychology toxic?

– While reverse psychology is effective, it can sometimes cause harm, especially among those with low self-esteem and young children who may be more affected by influence. Some children might start to pick up on the manipulation tactics of reverse psychology used by adults and use them to exploit or take advantage of other children.

In addition, many people are sensitive to passive-aggressive behavior and indirect communication and might feel like they’re being controlled. When reverse psychology becomes underhanded, reactance could lead to distrust. Relationships could become damaged if it becomes clear that the influencing person was working in their own interests only.

There are some cases, however, when a person might feel pressured to use reverse psychology, particularly when it could benefit another person. For example, you are the parent of a college student who is contemplating dropping out. You might tell them they should just drop out and could probably find a job working minimum wage, move back home, and pay a portion of rent.

Your child might decide on their own to just stay in school to avoid moving back home. While this can be an appropriate scenario for some young people, it may not be the best outcome for others. Of course, there’s also a chance that your attempt could backfire and your child drops out anyway. As an alternative approach, motivational interviewing might be more effective in this instance.

Try to express genuine curiosity and ask your child what they would like to do with their time instead of going to school.

What is the secret of reverse psychology?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Reverse psychology is a technique involving the assertion of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what is actually desired.

This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against. This may work especially well on a person who is resistant by nature, while direct requests work best for people who are compliant.

The one being manipulated is usually unaware of what is really going on.

What psychology says about one sided love?

What Is a One-Sided Relationship? – Campbell explains that a one-sided relationship involves one person investing much more time and energy (and, in some cases, money) into the relationship than their partner. “Sometimes one person ‘carries’ the relationship for a period of time, such as when a partner is ill or things aren’t going well,” she explains.

Can you date someone completely opposite you?

Written by Writer’s Corps member Rebecca Martin Opposites attract right? It doesn’t always feel that way. Yes, we are naturally drawn to people with similar personalities or people who have a certain “look,” but it’s not written in stone anywhere that you’re supposed to date a specific “type.” You might view choosing your total opposite as a huge risk because you’ve never tried to make it work but what if they made you the happiest person in the world? How would you know if you didn’t give it a chance? Sure, it may seem easier to date someone that’s more your type, but i t’s totally possible to have a healthy, happy relationship with someone whom you share nothing in common.

Can two opposite personality make a relationship work?

Difference in opinion: – Couples having different viewpoints have to face disagreements on various issues. This may lead to quarrels which are not healthy for a relationship. However, one cannot deny the fact that couples having different personalities balance each other.

Is reverse psychology narcissistic?

How Reverse Psychology Works Reverse psychology, or paradoxical intervention, is a relatively new concept in psychotherapy, Raymond says. Yet you can also think of it as, For example, all through history, people have told parents not to warn a child that they don’t want her to marry the ne’er-do-well she loves, for fear she’ll promptly wed the loser.

1. But does it work on everyone and in every situation? Experts tell us reverse psychology is more likely to work on those who like to be in control — Type A folks, rebels and narcissistic people, to name a few.
2. Agreeable, more passive people typically will do what you ask, so reverse psychology isn’t necessary for them.) It also tends to work better on those who are making decisions based on, rather than when calmly evaluating things,

But Raymond argues the success of its usage depends less upon personality type than on the dynamics of the relationship. “Where a person is struggling with autonomy and individuality, paradox may work because feels as if they are still resisting by doing what you tell them not to do,” Raymond says.

As an example, she cites Julian Assange, head of the WikiLeaks site. “The more he was told to stop, and had a ton of threats put on him by powerful countries such as the U.S.A., the more he defied and became a martyr to the cause,” she says. “If he had been told that it was great, keep doing it (paradox) by the U.S.A., he probably wouldn’t have been so intent on it.” Thankfully, most of us aren’t pondering whether to employ reverse psychology to stop the release of sensitive government information.

No, most of us use it for rather benign reasons, and typically on kids and love interests or in business settings. : How Reverse Psychology Works

What is reverse gaslighting?

The opposite of gaslighting is critical thinking, not validation or deference or coddling.

Do opposites attract in relationships psychology?

Filling in my weak spots with your strengths – Love stories often include people finding partners who seem to have traits that they lack, like a good girl falling for a bad boy. In this way, they appear to complement one another. For example, one spouse might be outgoing and funny while the other is shy and serious.

It’s easy to see how both partners could view the other as ideal – one partner’s strengths balancing out the other partner’s weaknesses. In fact, one could imagine the friends and relatives of a shy person trying to set them up with an outgoing person to draw the shy one out. The question is whether people actually seek out complementary partners or if that just happens in the movies.

As it turns out, it’s pure fiction. There is essentially no research evidence that differences in personality, interests, education, politics, upbringing, religion or other traits lead to greater attraction.

How to impress a girl reverse psychology?

Use Reverse Psychology – A lot of people use this technique to get things done! Use it wisely though. Reverse psychology is when you tell someone you can’t have something making it more challenging for them to get their hands on. For instance, if you tell one of your girlfriends to go up to her and say you’re not good for her or you’re difficult to get, trust us she’ll double her effort into getting to know you better.

Can someone change their mind about dating?

No one likes to feel that they aren’t being seen accurately or positively in terms of their abilities, intentions or motivations. So how can you rescue a relationship that has soured or stalled at work — and change your colleague’s mind about you? It isn’t always easy to change people’s minds.

• The human brain tends to interpret and recall information in a way that confirms your existing belief — and less time considering other points of view.
• However, the good news is that it can be done, although it takes time, sustained effort, and awareness to tip the scales back in your favour — or at least take them to neutral again.

Ultimately, changing someone’s mind about you is about relationship management. It will depend on a few elements, such as the hierarchy and stage of your relationship. Working on someone’s perception if you have just met and got off to a shaky start takes a slightly different strategy to someone responding to you within the framework of a longer-term relationship, for example.