Why Do I Seek Male Validation Psychology?

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – One of the main reasons people seek validation is because they’re comparing themselves to others. They see someone who has something that they want and they feel like they need to have it too. This could be anything from material possessions to physical appearance.

Contents

1 Why do I crave male validation psychology?
2 Why am I so needy for male attention?
- - 2.0.1 How do I stop craving male validation?
  - 2.0.2 Why do I crave him so much?
3 Why do I seek male validation when I have a boyfriend?
- 3.1 Why do narcissists crave validation?
4 How do you know if you seek male validation?
- - 4.0.1 Why do some people seek external validation?
5 Do narcissists crave validation?
- - 5.0.1 Why do I get feelings for every guy I meet?
- 5.1 Why do I crave validation so badly?
6 What is being needy with a guy?
7 Do narcissists crave validation?
- 7.1 Why do I seek male validation when I have a boyfriend?
- 7.2 Why do I crave him so much?

Why do I crave male validation psychology?

10) When you are trying to measure up to other women – Many of us have a fear of not measuring up and being judged by others. You might feel like other women are better than you, or that you aren’t as popular with men as someone else. This can lead to a love addiction in which you use male attention and validation to make yourself feel more accepted and liked.

What does craving male validation mean?

What is male validation? – In a nutshell, male validation is where women value the opinions – especially praise and sexual attention – of men more than they respect their perspectives or those of other women or non-binary people. A simplistic example would be seeing a compliment from a man as being more valid than a woman’s – even if she is a partner, friend or relative. Of course, most of us enjoy consensual attention from time to time, no matter what our gender is. Straight and bi/pan guys actively seek out women’s attention too, and a few male friends have confessed to being hooked on these flirtations and connections, even when they’ve been in monogamous relationships.

Male validation is specifically problematic for women because we live in a patriarchal society where more time, space, and value are given to men’s opinions. It’s deeply ingrained to such an extent that everyone (men, women and non-binary people) often struggle to realise when we are doing this. It doesn’t start happening when we join the workplace or start dating but from childhood.

This validation means women often end up placing more value on the opinions of men, seeing themselves and the world from a male perspective. Take the male gaze, for example. So much of art, photography and cinema is dominated by straight male artists, so women have learnt to see themselves through the eyes of men.

Why do some girls seek male validation?

Is external validation harmful? – Many women feel the need to seek praise from others in order to feel good about themselves. While this may seem like a harmless habit, it can actually be quite harmful in the long run. Striving for external validation can also lead to competition and division among women. There are many ways to find self-validation. If you have recognized yourself in a pattern of relying on external validation then it is important to give yourself grace and time to learn a new way of being. When we have relied on others to tell us what to do and how to be, it takes time to come back to ourselves and really get to know what is most important to us as individuals.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, Spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself. Practice self-compassion, which means accepting and respecting ourselves, even when we make mistakes. Look for external validation less often. This may mean seeking out compliments less, or being less affected by negative feedback. (For more tips on this see this article.) Focus on the things that you do well. This can be anything from your work to your hobbies. When you focus on your strengths, it becomes easier to feel good about yourself.

Learn how to give yourself approval. This can be done by setting realistic standards and accepting yourself for who you are. Remember that no-one is perfect and that it is okay to make mistakes, Focus on the things that you are good at and appreciate your accomplishments, even if they don’t receive rave reviews from others. Remember that we are all different. What works for one person may not work for another. It is important to find what makes you feel good and to stick with it. Remember that you are enough, just the way you are.

When it comes to the need for validation, women in business, stem and tech fields need to remember that they are not alone. Many women feel the need to seek out external validation, and there is no shame in that. However, it is important to remember that this can be a difficult habit to break.

When it comes to women in business and women in tech, there are a few reasons why seeking praise may be more common.
In some cases, these fields can be quite challenging and women may feel that they need to receive validation from others to feel good about themselves.
External validation is troublesome in the long term.

It can be difficult to maintain focus when your success is dependent on the opinions of others. Instead, it’s important to find validation from within. So what can we do to combat the need for validation?

First, we can start by recognizing our own accomplishments. Give yourself credit where it’s due, and don’t be afraid to celebrate your successes. Second, surround yourself with a supportive community of women. Find mentors and role models who will encourage you to reach your full potential. (My group coaching program is a great place to start!) And finally, don’t be afraid to speak up. Share your stories and your experiences, and be a voice for change.

Together, we can create a more positive environment for women in male dominated environments such as business, STEM fields, finance and motorsport to name just a few.

Is it normal to crave male validation?

The difference between a craving and a need – If you crave it, that’s pretty normal. We all crave the attention of someone we’re crushing on. But, if you feel you need it in order to feel good about yourself, well, it’s time to take a look within and ask yourself why you’re not finding that feel-good factor from yourself and from the things you do in your life.

Why am I so needy for male attention?

– Attention-seeking behavior may stem from jealousy, low self-esteem, loneliness, or as a result of a personality disorder. If you notice this behavior in you or someone else, a mental health professional can provide diagnosis and treatment options.

How do I stop craving male validation?

I’m in Love. But I Still Crave the Attention of Other Men. (Published 2018) Can a reader unlearn the sense of validation she gets from male adoration?

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Credit. Heidi Younger By Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond Dear Sugars, I’m a 24-year-old woman still solidifying her identity, especially when it comes to love and relationships. I have a desire to be adored by men. This desire started when I began to feel the pressures of the “male gaze,” as it appeared in movies, TV, books — everywhere.

Men thought the ideal woman was beautiful but not vain; sexy but not slutty; game for pizza and beer but skinny; willing to comply with her partner’s sexual desires but not seek her own with other men.
As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly.
I secretly wanted to be every man’s dream girl.

Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me. As a feminist, it pains me to admit that I got so much validation from male attention. In college, I shed some of these unhealthy needs and fell in love with someone who accepts the real me — both my beauty and my flaws.

We’ve been dating for two years.
We make each other laugh.
He makes me feel desired and beautiful.
Yet I’m still haunted by the shallow desire to be adored by other men.
It makes me feel like a bad girlfriend, like I’m still chasing that high I get from a crush.
Is this something all people in relationships contend with? Will I grow out of it? Is there something missing from my relationship? How do I block out societal expectations of women and continue to grow into a more genuine person who gains validation and happiness from within? Attention Addict Steve Almond : I’m struck by the word you use to describe how you felt when boys were crushing on you: successful,

This is the mind-set that a patriarchal society enforces, one designed to keep women from defining success in ways unrelated to male adoration. Rather than berating yourself, though, please recognize the enormity of what you’re up against as a young woman in America: a culture steeped in misogyny, devoted to brainwashing women and criminalizing female ambition.

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This messaging comes in the form of accessorized dolls, sappy rom-coms that equate marriage and fulfillment, and the rhetoric of our president, a self-proclaimed sexual predator who chants “Lock her up!” at rallies. It will certainly help to steer clear of entertainment that traffics in these toxic messages.

It’s even more important to become conscious of the ways you’ve internalized them. How did the men and women in your family define success? What messages did you receive from friends? And what is it about that high that you can’t stop chasing? It’s a real feeling.

But the role it plays in your life is to keep you from identifying and pursuing forms of validation that derive from your intellectual, professional and creative achievements. I’m glad you’ve found a man who loves and accepts you. But the real question is who you are beyond your relationships to men. Cheryl Strayed : There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to feel desired by people who are not your partner, Attention.

It’s a fairly common longing among people who are in monogamous relationships, even happy ones. But my sense of your conundrum is that it’s more complicated than that. You aren’t worried because you feel thrilled when a man finds you attractive; you’re worried because it makes you feel validated and you know such validation is false, fleeting and, as you note, tied to the “male gaze” that’s everywhere in our culture.

I could’ve written this same letter when I was 24. It’s not even a little bit surprising that you’re grappling with the contradictions between your genuinely felt feminist values and your deep desire to be “every man’s dream girl.” In a culture that grants girls and women validation and power based first and foremost on their sexual appeal to men, it’s almost impossible not to want that.

It’s called internalized sexism — when you and I and everyone we know unconsciously enacts sexist ideologies that we consciously reject. Your turmoil isn’t evidence to me that you’re shallow or lacking. Instead, it’s a sign that you’re ready to begin honestly examining the ways your erotic life has been informed by the culture.

SA : What Cheryl is saying — and I second her — is that we see in your letter a person bravely reckoning with her indoctrination. This doesn’t mean you can’t take pleasure in male attention. And it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad girlfriend either. It just means that you’re struggling to unlearn an ancient and pervasive lesson: that a woman’s only path to self-worth is via male regard.

It might help to read books that interrogate this paradigm (“Feminism Is for Everybody” by bell hooks, “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan, “The Second Sex” by Simone de Beauvoir) and to shift your attention away from men and toward the question of your own desires.

“A consequence of female self-love is that the woman grows convinced of social worth,” Naomi Wolf writes in “The Beauty Myth.” “If the world were ours too we would ask for more love, more sex, more money, more commitment to children, more food, more care. These sexual, emotional and physical demands would begin to extend to social demands: payment for care of the elderly, parental leave, child care, etc.

The force of female desire would be so great that society would truly have to reckon with what women want, in bed and in the world.” You are a part of this larger struggle, Attention. It involves you. If you want off the hamster wheel, you’ll need to be kind to yourself, and patient, but also persistent.

The patriarchy won’t die on its own.
It has to be killed, one feminist at a time.
CS : So how do you neutralize these longings you have for validation via male sexual desire? First, by acknowledging that it won’t happen in a day.
Change is always a process, but that’s especially true when we’re undoing ideas we’ve been steeped in all of our lives.

You ask how to “block out societal expectations of women,” but I suggest you do the opposite, Attention. There is no better way to dismantle the sexist notions we’ve unknowingly internalized than by exploring them. Only then will you see them for the false stories they are — and be able to replace them with new, true ones.

Undertake a journey of self-discovery.
Read feminist books, discuss your feelings with friends or a therapist, journal about the values you absorbed about gender, beauty, success, self-worth and love.
Practice mindfulness by consciously interrupting your thoughts when you find yourself having longings for the kind of validation from men you don’t truly desire and replace them with thoughts about the person you want to be.

The more you do, the more you will become. Not the make-believe girl who is someone else’s dream, but the real woman you boldly dreamed into existence. : I’m in Love. But I Still Crave the Attention of Other Men. (Published 2018)

Why do I crave him so much?

When you feel like something is lacking within you, you may crave someone. When you’re emotionally all over the place on some level, you may crave someone. Feeding into a memory, the way a person made you feel or a desire that you possibly have been suppressing, that too can cause you to crave someone.

And if you don’t really take the time to ponder all of this, the craving could manifest into a longing, possibly begging (asking earnestly) or even gassing yourself up to think that you need or even require them to be (back) in your life. – My ex? The chemistry was strong. The sex was good. The battle of wits was bar none.

Not just when we were together but many years later when we caught back up. I won’t lie —I literally had to convince myself to not get off of my abstinence wheel and take another spin with him (if you know what I mean). Yet in 2015, when we reconnected by phone, while I was still sexually attracted to him, I realized that I missed him — or rather, missed what we had — more than anything else (more on that in a second).

And still earlier this year? Chile, that was a craving, See, I have been so focused on fulfilling my purpose and counseling other people that, although I’m a place of wholeness when it comes to my relational status (perhaps more than I’ve ever been before), seeing him married, a parent and thriving got to me a bit.

It was a mixture of being happy for him, wondering if we would’ve been like that had we made more responsible choices in the past and also admitting to myself that sometimes I desire companionship. Then I had to remind myself that wanting that and yet refusing to settle — those two things can co-exist.

Not only that, but it’s OK to feel that way.
All of this brought me to the conclusion that the craving I was experiencing really wasn’t about him.
The craving was seeing what had manifested in his life and desiring it. A bit.
Another example of a craving.
There is someone in my world who had an emotional affair with an ex because 1) her marriage was getting on her last nerve in that season and 2) she was missing the sexual connection she had with this particular person (a person who she found online so, again, be careful on there).

That is a brutal combo yet between his looks, his charm and taking a walk down sexual memory lane, she was definitely craving him. And while she eventually realized that he was someone that she really just needed to leave alone for the rest of her days, after coming clean with her man and going through some couple’s therapy, she also saw that the craving existed because there was a disconnect with her husband.

While the sex with her ex was bomb, she was also satisfied with her man. It’s just that because something was lacking between them, she “blew up” the experiences that she shared with her ex in her mind. Cravings will do that to you. They’ll have you out here thinking that you’ll damn near die if you don’t have a pint of Rocky Road or one more round with a blast from the past.

It’ll do that until you get to the root of what’s triggering the craving in the first place. Once you do, usually you end up realizing that you’re just fine without it or himthat you might miss him but that’s about it. Which brings me to the next point.

Why do I seek male validation when I have a boyfriend?

#7 You have trust issues with your boyfriend – You’re seeking attention from other guys when you have a boyfriend because of your trust issues. Trust issues are often rooted in past experiences that are outside of your control. If you can’t trust your boyfriend, it’s hard to believe that he will be loyal to you.

This can often lead to insecurities and paranoia, especially if your partner hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him. The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognize what kind of person your boyfriend is and decide whether or not he’s right for you. Talk to your boyfriend about it. If he’s the one who makes you feel insecure, then maybe it’s time to move on—but if it’s just an insecurity of yours, then he probably has the power to help reassure you.

The best thing for both of you is, to be honest about what’s going on and see what happens!

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Why do narcissists crave validation?

Narcissists seek out an endless supply of validation, attention, and praise to compensate for low self esteem, confidence, and a perceived lack of acceptance that’s often a result of early childhood trauma and attachment issues.

How do you know if you seek male validation?

You need constant communication with your lover – If you’re seeking validation, you need constant reassurance, and if your partner doesn’t call you or text you every day, you immediately assume there are problems in the relationship. If something unexpected happens and they have to cancel a date, you begin to worry.

Why do some people seek external validation?

‘From the social cues we receive from the others around us, we form opinions about whether our behaviours are good and praise-worthy or not. When we are validated by others it feels good, and this tends to make us want to behave in a similar fashion in the future, so as to experience the same good feelings again.’

Do narcissists crave validation?

The strong attraction between narcissists and people pleasers is no accident. There is a magnetic pull between the two that is very difficult to break because each is meeting a deep need of the other. This is not the fault of one over the other. Rather, it is an unhealthy union that breeds dysfunction.

Narcissism demands to be fed and people pleasers are the best source. Contrary to the outward appearance of self-reliance, determination, and independence, narcissists internally crave approval from others. They need a constant daily supply of attention, admiration, and affection. This endorsement is necessary to secure their superior status over others. Without it, they become intensely angry.People pleasers like to impress others, offer support, and feel needed by others in order to validate their self-worth. They are constantly seeking acceptance and belonging from others which narcissists are willing to supply as long as things are done their way.Narcissists can be very protective of people pleasers because they dont want their source of esteem to disappear. People pleasers need to feel as though they belong to someone and who better than a narcissist who appears larger than life. As a result, both gain a sense of control and security.The ultimate in boosting confidence for a people pleaser is to gain approval from a hard to please person such as a narcissist. There is a sense that if a person can get the narcissists approval, they can then get just about anyone else. Naturally, the narcissist loves the attention and constant seeking of their approval because it feeds their ego.People pleasers see narcissists through rose-colored glasses, ignoring any distasteful characteristics. This validates the narcissists view of self because they dont see their own faults. People pleasers are willing to look past the negative aspects of narcissism in exchange for acceptance.When narcissists become angry, people pleasers often take the blame. Rather than holding the narcissist accountable for their behavior, the people pleasers prefer to calm the situation down by accepting unnecessary responsibility. The narcissist needs to have someone else to be accountable for failures because their ego cannot handle being wrong.Narcissists love to rescue others. This feeds their belief that they are better, stronger, and more powerful than others. People pleasers often take on too much and as a result, need someone to come alongside and clean up the mess. Because a people pleaser shows extreme levels of gratitude for the help, the narcissist is willing to give it.

Breaking free from this attraction takes considerable work but it can be done. It begins with the simple step of identifying the narcissist and admitting the people-pleasing tendency. It is never too late to see things clearly.

Why do I get feelings for every guy I meet?

It is probably because you haven’t received similar kind of attention and affection from the sex that you are attracted to, before. It could also be because you are or have been surrounded with people who do not treat you with due respect and kindness. This could have indirectly given you a low sense of self-worth.

Why do I crave validation so badly?

Why do you need constant validation? – Dr Kocchar explains, “People crave attention for a variety of reasons, including normal emotional development, low self-esteem, and, in some extreme cases, the presence of personality disorders. Emotional, social, and physical reasons typically are behind a child’s attention-seeking behaviours.

It’s not inherently bad! In fact, we all begin life in a state of complete reliance on external,
As children, we rely on it to learn appropriate behaviours; as adults, it’s a necessary part of tribe life.” You need to be able to take instructions and constructive criticism from others in order to collaborate with peers.

The problem occurs when outside approval becomes your be-all and end-all. Neither is it healthy to completely eschew the opinions of others. If your boss asked you to make some changes to a project you may have submitted, or if a professor suggested a different angle for your essay, would you completely ignore the feedback? Are you bothered by the ‘likes’ you get on social media? Image courtesy: Shutterstock “It is not about agreeing with someone or accepting their thoughts as your own. It is about being able to accept these thoughts and experiences as being valid. Validation is part of being interdependent and relying on the feedback and encouragement of others around us.

What is being needy with a guy?

You must have heard from women who harp about how their men can’t do without them. While a part of you goes ‘Aww’, there’s another part that wonders how clingy their man really is. And then, you’re more than convinced about the same when you get to know a man ditto that—Mr.

Needy we call him, someone who wants to be around you 24/7. Here are the signs to know if you’re in a relationship with such a man, who doesn’t understand the concept of giving you any space at all.1. Constant sweet talker: Post first date, this man will sweet talk, but ‘always’. Yes, that’s the first sign that he just can’t do without you ever.

If after the first few dates, a man is constantly texting you throughout the day, narrating to you that he’s busy daydreaming about you, naming his unborn kids with you, and is more than willing to meet you every now and then (embarrassing you outside your workplace with that pretty bunch of flowers), well, he’s just too desperate and clingy.

Think of it, either the man is just trying to get hooked on, or he’s so in need of a woman.2. Friends no more: Does he bail out his friends for you? You might find it really sweet that he is prioritising you over his friends but later on, if he cancels out on them every time for you, then it’s not quite right.

He should be able to balance his life well, giving equal time to his friends as well. But if he prefers to stick by you all the time, then he’s one needy man. He is the one who would want to be with you every moment of the day, and trust me, it starts to get suffocating.3.

Do this, not that: When the man starts giving you ultimatums, he’s just started off with being needy. Has he ever done that? It starts from asking you to make a choice between him and the things that you want to do. Such a man should be avoided before you lose your mind pleasing him by the minute.4. I need you too: He needs to be with you when you are with your friends.

Who doesn’t like a little ‘we time’ with friends, without the partner? But what when your guy is more than adamant to be a part of the girl gang, even if that means when he’s uninvited. Imagine what you’d ever feel if your friend got along on a date when your girlies are having that bonding time.

Wouldn’t you think, he can’t leave her alone even once.5. Let’s do this faster: Has he initiated talks about sex, living in, marriage, baby names already! Well, there he is, wants it all at once, actually ‘needs it now’. He needs you to the extent of not willing to even wait for time to pass before he knows you better.6.

On and on: He met you in the morning, calls you in the afternoon to show interest in wanting to meet you at night. Then again the next morning. This sequence goes on in the life of a man who can’t do without a woman. Whether he has a job, has friends to count on is beside the point, the only thing that you can decipher here is that he needs a woman in his life.7.

Do I like him or the attention?

Often, the best way to discover if you have a crush is to check in with yourself about how you feel. If you think about the person often, want to spend time with them, frequently wonder how they’re doing, and are interested in knowing all of the details about this person and their life, it’s likely a crush.

Is seeking validation an addiction?

Professional Speaker and Mentor to Aspiring Speakers – Published Dec 22, 2022 What is Approval Addiction? By Steve Siebold, CSP, CFEd Approval addiction is a term used to describe the unhealthy need for validation and acceptance from others. It is a psychological condition that can have a negative impact on an individual’s self-esteem and overall well-being.

People who suffer from approval addiction may constantly seek validation from others through social media likes, positive feedback on their work, or approval of their choices and decisions.
They may fear rejection and criticism and go to great lengths to avoid it.
This can lead to a cycle of seeking approval and trying to please others, even at the expense of their own happiness and well-being.

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There are several potential causes of approval addiction. In some cases, it may stem from childhood experiences such as parental neglect or abuse. In other cases, it may be the result of low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence. It can also be a coping mechanism for individuals who have experienced trauma or other difficult life events.

Symptoms of approval addiction may include constantly seeking validation from others, avoiding criticism or rejection at all costs, people-pleasing behavior, and a fear of making decisions without seeking the approval of others. This can lead to a lack of autonomy and an inability to make decisions based on one’s own values and beliefs.

The consequences of approval addiction can be significant. Individuals who suffer from this condition may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, as they may prioritize the approval of others over their own needs and boundaries.

They may also experience anxiety and depression as a result of their constant need for validation.
Treatment for approval addiction may include therapy, self-care, and support from friends and loved ones.
Therapy can help individuals develop healthy coping mechanisms, build self-esteem, and learn to make decisions based on their own values and beliefs.

Self-care can include activities such as exercise, meditation, and engaging in hobbies and interests that bring joy and fulfillment. Overall, it is important for individuals to recognize the signs of approval addiction and seek help if necessary. While seeking validation from others is a natural part of human nature, an unhealthy need for approval can have negative consequences on an individual’s well-being and happiness.

What is the psychology of seeking validation?

These validation-seeking behaviors typically serve as a mirror to fine-tune your perception of a new situation. Your happiness and sense of self don’t typically depend on how others answer. Your friends could point out a flaw in your thinking or behavior, and your self-esteem may still be intact.

Do narcissists crave validation?

Why do I seek male validation when I have a boyfriend?

This can often lead to insecurities and paranoia, especially if your partner hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognize what kind of person your boyfriend is and decide whether or not he’s right for you.
Talk to your boyfriend about it.
If he’s the one who makes you feel insecure, then maybe it’s time to move on—but if it’s just an insecurity of yours, then he probably has the power to help reassure you.

The best thing for both of you is, to be honest about what’s going on and see what happens!

Why do I crave him so much?

And if you don’t really take the time to ponder all of this, the craving could manifest into a longing, possibly begging (asking earnestly) or even gassing yourself up to think that you need or even require them to be (back) in your life. – My ex? The chemistry was strong. The sex was good. The battle of wits was bar none.

And still earlier this year? Chile, that was a craving,
See, I have been so focused on fulfilling my purpose and counseling other people that, although I’m a place of wholeness when it comes to my relational status (perhaps more than I’ve ever been before), seeing him married, a parent and thriving got to me a bit.

Not only that, but it’s OK to feel that way.
All of this brought me to the conclusion that the craving I was experiencing really wasn’t about him.
The craving was seeing what had manifested in his life and desiring it. A bit.
Another example of a craving.
There is someone in my world who had an emotional affair with an ex because 1) her marriage was getting on her last nerve in that season and 2) she was missing the sexual connection she had with this particular person (a person who she found online so, again, be careful on there).

While the sex with her ex was bomb, she was also satisfied with her man.
It’s just that because something was lacking between them, she “blew up” the experiences that she shared with her ex in her mind.
Cravings will do that to you.
They’ll have you out here thinking that you’ll damn near die if you don’t have a pint of Rocky Road or one more round with a blast from the past.

Sabrina Sarro