Why Is He Trying To Make Me Jealous Psychology?

Download Article Download Article Romance can be complicated, and feelings of jealousy can arise both intentionally and unintentionally. If a guy in your life intentionally tries to make you jealous, you’ll need to act in a way that ends the behavior without further complicating the relationship between you.

1 Evaluate the actions in question. When dealing with a crush who makes you jealous, you might wonder if his efforts at jealousy are intentional or accidental-and if you don’t ask yourself this question, you probably should. Your crush might flirt with other girls in front of you to get your attention, but it’s also possible that he’s just a natural flirt who does it without thinking.
- This issue typically occurs when the guy in question flirts with you and several other girls. It can be hard to know if he genuinely likes you, or if he’s flirting indiscriminately. To figure out if he might like you more than the other girls he flirts with, ask yourself if there’s a difference between his flirtation with you and his flirtation with others.
- For instance, when you see him in the hallway, pay attention to where his eyes are. If he immediately locks eyes with you, that’s probably a good sign. On the other hand, if he’s looking at another girl and barely acknowledges you (or doesn’t acknowledge you at all), that’s probably a bad sign.
- Try not to assume that a guy who talks endlessly about his girlfriend in front of you is doing so to make you jealous. It’s possible that he’s genuinely head-over-heels for her and just trying to let you know. Even if he’s honestly using his girlfriend to make you jealous and spur romantic feelings in you, the disloyalty and disrespect this behavior demonstrates should be a warning sign telling you to stay away from a potentially toxic mate.
2 Be honest about your feelings. If you think your crush really is trying to make you jealous, the best thing you can do is tell him how you feel. There’s a decent chance that his actions are caused by insecurity about how you feel. Letting him know that your feelings of attraction are mutual may resolve the problem.
- This step is easier said than done, of course, and you do face the risk of rejection by following through and telling your crush you want to date him. Even so, clearing the air is the only way to fix the issue before it gets worse.
- Wait until the next time you two find yourselves flirting in a private, one-on-one setting, then let him know you’re interested in something more. Wait for his response before determining how to approach the topic of jealousy.
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3 Point out the problem. You’ll need to deal with the jealousy issue regardless of how your crush responds to your feelings, but the exact method will vary on his reply.
- If your crush is interested in dating you, let him know in a casual, joking manner that he needs to save his flirting for you. Try to avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don’t want him flirting with other girls.
- If your crush is lukewarm or rejects the idea of dating you, politely ask him to tone down the flirting he does with you. Dealing with regular flirtation from a guy who won’t commit will only play with your emotions; it isn’t healthy for either of you to continue like that.
4 Say your farewells if things don’t work out. If your crush doesn’t change his ways after you tell him your feelings and point out the problem, you’re better off cutting ties.
- Starting a relationship with a guy who can’t stop flirting will likely lead to continued frustration and insecurity, which will damage the relationship in the long run.
- Continuing a friendship with a one-sided crush is always difficult, but if he’s continuing to lead you on when he should know better, the best thing you can do for yourself is move on.

1 Discuss your feelings. Sit down with your boyfriend and let him know how his recent actions are making you feel. Try to set boundaries about behaviors that are and aren’t acceptable.
- It’s possible that your boyfriend isn’t actually trying to make you jealous, and simply isn’t aware of the fact that his interactions with another girl are causing you to feel jealous. Letting him know can help limit the behavior in the future.
- Even if he meant to make you jealous, it’s possible that he has his own insecurities with the relationship. Opening the topic up to discussion can give you both the chance to talk things over while also giving him the chance to reassure you about his feelings.
2 Stay calm. Before, during, and after your discussion, you need to remain calm. Don’t explode when your boyfriend says or does something that makes you feel jealous.
- Talk about your feelings using “I” statements (i.e. “I feel.”) instead of placing blame (i.e. “You make me feel.”).
- If the misunderstanding is genuine, staying calm with help you work things out more completely and with as little conflict as possible.
- If your boyfriend is intentionally trying to push your buttons, however, exploding at him will only give him the reaction he wants. Instead of responding the way he expects, keep your cool and be the mature one when you talk things out. If his behavior continues even after you bring the issue to his attention, he might have some toxic control issues, and it might be in your best interest to break things off.
3 Offer some reassurance. Oftentimes, a guy may try to make you jealous because he feels insecure about your feelings for him. His insecurity doesn’t make the behavior acceptable, but it does make it quite normal.
- His attempts at making you jealous might be his way of trying to capture your attention. By “reminding” you that he’s a catch, he’s trying to win more of your affection.
- Try to reconnect with your boyfriend to give him the reassurance he needs. Compliment him. Be appreciative when he does good things for you. Cuddle, kiss, and be intentional about giving him signs of physical affection as you feel comfortable with.
4 Manage your own insecurities. In addition to dealing with your boyfriend’s insecurities, you also have to manage your own. Being more confident about your self-worth will usually make it easier to stop obsessing over feelings of jealousy, ultimately leaving you with more energy to strengthen your relationship.
- Show compassion to yourself. Admit it when you fall victim to jealous, and assure yourself that it’s a natural feeling you don’t need to be ashamed of. Only by accepting the feeling at face value can you learn to overcome it.
- Take time to focus on your own interests independent of the relationship. Developing yourself as an individual can make it easier to see what you bring to the relationship, which can make it easier to accept that your boyfriend loves you.

1 Ignore him. If your ex-boyfriend is intentionally trying to throw his new relationship in your face, giving him a jealous response will mean giving him exactly what he wants. Don’t respond when he talks to you via email, texting, or social media. If he tries making you jealous in person, reply in as neutral a manner as possible before ending the conversation and walking away.
- In addition to not replying to him directly, you also need to resist the temptation to post that vague, passive-aggressive status update on Facebook or Twitter, and avoid complaining to mutual friends who might let him know.
- Stay persistent. It’s possible that he may put more effort into making you jealous initially, but if you’re consistent, he should eventually get the message that it won’t work.
2 Limit his opportunities. If he’s especially stubborn and the behavior is really getting to you, respond by cutting him off. Unfriend, unfollow, and block him via social media. If things get really bad, block his phone number from your phone and mark his email address as spam.
- He might temporarily feel pleased upon realizing that he succeeded in making you upset, but now that he’s unable to continue the behavior, he’ll have no choice but to stop it.
3 Avoid rebounds. You might feel tempted to fight fire with fire-or, in this case, fight jealousy with jealousy-but this usually isn’t a good idea. Getting into a new relationship just to make your ex jealous won’t be fair to you or the new guy you start dating.
- Furthermore, flaunting around a new boyfriend you genuinely like can damage the new relationship, too. Using your boyfriend to get back at your ex keeps your focus on the old relationship-and adding fuel to the fires of jealousy will mean keeping the war between you and your ex alive indefinitely. You’ll be much better off cutting ties with your ex and focusing on your attentions solely on your new sweetheart.
4 Resist the temptation to get back together. Even if the opportunity to get back together with your ex comes up, and even if you’re tempted to take it, don’t. An ex who goes out of his way to make you jealous is clearly capable of hurting you. This is not the sort of guy who’s worthy of your love and affection.

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Question How do I stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship? Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Answer Try to explore and express your feelings with your partner rather than blaming them. You might say “I’m feeling jealous right now and I don’t know what to do. I would really appreciate it if you could do X or Y for me in the future—what are your thoughts on that?”

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If your current boyfriend continues to intentionally make you jealous even after you talk things through, you might need to seek couples’ therapy to work out your issues. In the worst case scenario, the issues standing between you may not be resolvable, and it might be in your best interest to end things.
If an ex-boyfriend escalates his behavior when you start ignoring him by harassing you or making threats, you might need to file a police report.

Advertisement Article Summary X If a guy that you’re crushing on tries to make you jealous, he may be insecure about how you feel, so let him know that your feelings of attraction are mutual. However, if he doesn’t want to date you, politely ask him to tone down the flirting and cut ties with him if he continues to flirt with you.

When your boyfriend is the guy who’s trying to make you jealous, try your best to stay calm and use “I” statements to describe how his behavior makes you feel. If your boyfriend is feeling insecure in your relationship, do your best to offer some reassurance by complimenting him and showing him love.

However, if his behavior continues, he may have toxic control issues and you may want to break things off. For more tips, including how to deal with an ex-boyfriend who tries to make you jealous, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 319,466 times.

Contents

1 Why would someone purposely make you jealous?
2 Is he trying to make me jealous or not interested?
3 Do narcissists try to make you jealous?
- 3.1 Why would a guy purposely try to make you jealous?
4 Why is he trying to get my attention?
5 Do guys get jealous even if they don’t like you?
6 What is intentional jealousy?
- 6.1 What is the psychology behind jealous people?

Why would someone purposely make you jealous?

Inducing Jealousy to Get Your Mate’s Attention Source: VGstockstudio/Shutterstock Have you ever purposely tried to elicit a jealous reaction in someone you are ? You might have done this in many different ways. For example, maybe you flirted with someone, hoping that your significant other might notice.

Or maybe you purposely did not text your partner when you went out for a night dancing with friends.
Perhaps instead you might have been really ambiguous about your plans for the weekend and simply made yourself unavailable.
You could have taken this one step further and left photographs from ex-partners around your home or fake phone numbers saying, “Call me for a hot night.” Or, maybe you called an ex-partner just to stir up the pot and hope that your current mate notices and becomes upset.

Let’s assume you love your partner—yet you know that these actions will be displeasing and may actually hurt their feelings. Maybe they’ll even break up with you. Why are you purposely hurting someone you love? Welcome to one of the most intriguing aspects of,

Study after study shows that we are concerned with looking good for a potential romantic partner and that once we start dating someone, we want them to think highly of us and love us. Once we have a mate whom we truly love, we want them to remain ours. Some of us become extremely possessive and engage in all sorts of interesting behaviors to stop “mate poachers” from stealing our mates, or we try to retain our mate’s interest.

Others of us might more directly manipulate our mates to get the love or we want. This dichotomy of loving a partner and yet using potentially hurtful manipulations to shape their behavior has been captured in several studies. One in particular that provides a good overview is by Amy Fleischmann and colleagues (2005).

They start by reviewing how “is a common source of relational dissatisfaction, relational conflict, break-up, and violence” (p.50).
They go on to define romantic jealousy as: “a set of thoughts, emotions, and responses following a perceived threat to a romantic relationship by a rival” (p.50).
According to them, jealousy happens when someone tries to protect an existing relationship.

According to many scholars, jealousy is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can cause relational upset and violence, yet on the other hand, it can reflect love. Yes, that’s right—jealousy can have a very positive side. That is, if we feel jealous about someone, then we must love them; if we are indifferent about a mate’s activities, then we are expressing that we really don’t care all that much about them.

It’s not surprising, then, that intentionally causing a partner to experience jealousy is a risky strategy for getting attention. It can hurt a partner to the point that they break up with you—or it can cause them to pull up their socks and start being a better mate. As Fleischmann et al. propose, some people do it to cause their mates to “engage in compensatory behavior to enhance the relationship” (p.52).

Previously, Sheets and colleagues (1997) reported that for those who have intentionally tried to make a partner jealous, 87 percent had done so to get attention, while 24 percent sought an increase in their commitment, and 18 percent were trying to use it to keep them as a mate. One final aspect of the Fleischmann et al. paper that I think deserves comment is the fact that they found three major types of behaviors. First, they found people engage in “relational distancing,” which is when they try to keep their friends separate from their mate, exclude their mate from social plans, say that they are too busy to see their mate, and be purposely vague about plans or with whom they are spending time.

Second, people engage in a ” façade,” where they leave fake numbers or photographs around, send themselves flowers, or take another person to the spot that was a special place for them and their mate. Third, they found people use “relational alternatives,” which is when they talk about other people, including ex-partners or rivals, or tell their mate that someone tried to get their phone number.

I should note that they found that all of these behaviors were higher in the self-reports of those in causal rather than exclusive relationships. Very recently, Weinstein and Wade (2011) found that people are more likely to use emotional cheating than sexual cheating to make a mate feel jealous, which to me indicates that jealousy induction is all about trying to manipulate a partner’s emotional state.

What’s also interesting about this study is that they found men were more likely to end a relationship over lack of sex, while women were more likely to end a relationship due to lack of emotional support.
If this is truly the case, then I would expect that women would be more likely to try to manipulate —for example, they might touch another man with their partner around in the hopes of being physically suggestive and, consequently, making a mate feel jealous.

Likewise, men might start being more supportive, friendly, or available to another woman to make a mate feel jealous. When faced with the desire to get a mate’s attention, jealousy induction might be quite effective, but it is risky. It can hurt the one you love and even cause the end of the relationship.

The main issue is that when faced with a mate who is trying to manipulate us (or when we realize we’re trying to manipulate someone we love), really these actions reflect the need for love and attention. It’s a signal to a mate (and ourselves) that we’re not getting something that we may need. The key, then, is to acknowledge that we are in a position where we might end up hurting the very person we love.

References Fleischmann, A.A., Spitzberg, B.H., Anderson, P.A., & Roesch, S.C. (2005). Tickling the monster: Jealousy induction in relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 49-73 Sheets, V.L., Fredendall L.L., & Claypool, H.M. (1997). : Inducing Jealousy to Get Your Mate’s Attention

Is he trying to make me jealous or not interested?

6. He would go out with his friends without you – Has he been trying to make you jealous by going out with friends more than he’s spending time with you? If you feel like he changed and started being too socially involved with his friends and going out, there’s a chance he’s trying to make you jealous.

Do narcissists try to make you jealous?

Both grandiose and vulnerable narcissists have a tendency to deliberately induce jealousy in their romantic partners, but for different reasons – a vulnerable narcissist is motivated by insecurities and seeks reassurance to compensate for low self-esteem whereas a grandiose narcissist induces jealousy primarily to gain

Is he trying to make me jealous or has he moved on?

Sign #1: Your Ex Brags About His New Girlfriend Everywhere He Can – A common theme among almost all these signs is social media – what your ex posts, how frequently they post, and what their posts mean. If your ex has moved on or gone on the rebound and they keep posting pictures of dates with this new person shortly after a breakup, it’s usually a sign that they’re just trying to make you jealous.

Now simply posting pictures isn’t necessarily the sign here; the frequency of their posts matters a lot too. Let’s go back in time for a minute and look at your relationship: how often was your ex posting during the relationship? If they weren’t posting very often and all of a sudden after this breakup they’re posting a lot more frequently, there’s a good chance it’s all for show to make you jealous.

One under looked fact about this specific jealousy sign is whether your ex is actually on a casual rebound or they’ve truly moved on. So if your ex breaks up with you and then immediately moves on to someone else, the timing indicates that this is more than likely a rebound relationship.

But if they broke up with you, waited a year, and then moved on to someone else, all of a sudden, it’s not so much of a jealousy ploy, and there might be some authentic feelings between the two of them. This is something I see quite a lot within our private Facebook support group. We have people asking what it means if their ex keeps posting about how great their life is.

Honestly, we’ve seen it so often we’re almost certain it’s an indicator that your ex is trying to make you jealous. So how does this work? Now this sign is a little bit different than sign number one. Sign one was all about making you jealous through a new girl, whereas this is about bragging how great their life is without you regardless of whether there’s a new girl in their life.

Usually, this looks like a lot of partying with friends or going traveling, etc.
Of course, your ex won’t directly tag or mention you in the posts, but it’s still a subtle indirect signal that they’re doing so well without you, So again, what you’re looking for here is not only those types of posts on social media, but you’re looking at how frequently those posts show up.

Generally speaking, someone who’s being very obvious about this is going to be posting quite frequently.

What makes a narcissist jealous?

They get jealous about everything – It’s one thing to be jealous about the attractive new co-worker, but your pet or children is something else entirely – and it’s not a good sign. They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism.

Do female narcissists get jealous?

Jealousy – A narcissistic woman is incredibly jealous and will often try to sabotage relationships. She is also very possessive and will not hesitate to control those around her. In fact, jealousy is one of the most common traits of a narcissist. Because women might be more likely to experience jealousy than men, it may be more difficult for them to cope with a partner who is narcissistic.

Why would a guy purposely try to make you jealous?

1 Evaluate the actions in question. When dealing with a crush who makes you jealous, you might wonder if his efforts at jealousy are intentional or accidental-and if you don’t ask yourself this question, you probably should. Your crush might flirt with other girls in front of you to get your attention, but it’s also possible that he’s just a natural flirt who does it without thinking.
- This issue typically occurs when the guy in question flirts with you and several other girls. It can be hard to know if he genuinely likes you, or if he’s flirting indiscriminately. To figure out if he might like you more than the other girls he flirts with, ask yourself if there’s a difference between his flirtation with you and his flirtation with others.
- For instance, when you see him in the hallway, pay attention to where his eyes are. If he immediately locks eyes with you, that’s probably a good sign. On the other hand, if he’s looking at another girl and barely acknowledges you (or doesn’t acknowledge you at all), that’s probably a bad sign.
- Try not to assume that a guy who talks endlessly about his girlfriend in front of you is doing so to make you jealous. It’s possible that he’s genuinely head-over-heels for her and just trying to let you know. Even if he’s honestly using his girlfriend to make you jealous and spur romantic feelings in you, the disloyalty and disrespect this behavior demonstrates should be a warning sign telling you to stay away from a potentially toxic mate.
2 Be honest about your feelings. If you think your crush really is trying to make you jealous, the best thing you can do is tell him how you feel. There’s a decent chance that his actions are caused by insecurity about how you feel. Letting him know that your feelings of attraction are mutual may resolve the problem.
- This step is easier said than done, of course, and you do face the risk of rejection by following through and telling your crush you want to date him. Even so, clearing the air is the only way to fix the issue before it gets worse.
- Wait until the next time you two find yourselves flirting in a private, one-on-one setting, then let him know you’re interested in something more. Wait for his response before determining how to approach the topic of jealousy.
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3 Point out the problem. You’ll need to deal with the jealousy issue regardless of how your crush responds to your feelings, but the exact method will vary on his reply.
- If your crush is interested in dating you, let him know in a casual, joking manner that he needs to save his flirting for you. Try to avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don’t want him flirting with other girls.
- If your crush is lukewarm or rejects the idea of dating you, politely ask him to tone down the flirting he does with you. Dealing with regular flirtation from a guy who won’t commit will only play with your emotions; it isn’t healthy for either of you to continue like that.
4 Say your farewells if things don’t work out. If your crush doesn’t change his ways after you tell him your feelings and point out the problem, you’re better off cutting ties.
- Starting a relationship with a guy who can’t stop flirting will likely lead to continued frustration and insecurity, which will damage the relationship in the long run.
- Continuing a friendship with a one-sided crush is always difficult, but if he’s continuing to lead you on when he should know better, the best thing you can do for yourself is move on.

1 Discuss your feelings. Sit down with your boyfriend and let him know how his recent actions are making you feel. Try to set boundaries about behaviors that are and aren’t acceptable.
- It’s possible that your boyfriend isn’t actually trying to make you jealous, and simply isn’t aware of the fact that his interactions with another girl are causing you to feel jealous. Letting him know can help limit the behavior in the future.
- Even if he meant to make you jealous, it’s possible that he has his own insecurities with the relationship. Opening the topic up to discussion can give you both the chance to talk things over while also giving him the chance to reassure you about his feelings.
2 Stay calm. Before, during, and after your discussion, you need to remain calm. Don’t explode when your boyfriend says or does something that makes you feel jealous.
- Talk about your feelings using “I” statements (i.e. “I feel.”) instead of placing blame (i.e. “You make me feel.”).
- If the misunderstanding is genuine, staying calm with help you work things out more completely and with as little conflict as possible.
- If your boyfriend is intentionally trying to push your buttons, however, exploding at him will only give him the reaction he wants. Instead of responding the way he expects, keep your cool and be the mature one when you talk things out. If his behavior continues even after you bring the issue to his attention, he might have some toxic control issues, and it might be in your best interest to break things off.
3 Offer some reassurance. Oftentimes, a guy may try to make you jealous because he feels insecure about your feelings for him. His insecurity doesn’t make the behavior acceptable, but it does make it quite normal.
- His attempts at making you jealous might be his way of trying to capture your attention. By “reminding” you that he’s a catch, he’s trying to win more of your affection.
- Try to reconnect with your boyfriend to give him the reassurance he needs. Compliment him. Be appreciative when he does good things for you. Cuddle, kiss, and be intentional about giving him signs of physical affection as you feel comfortable with.
4 Manage your own insecurities. In addition to dealing with your boyfriend’s insecurities, you also have to manage your own. Being more confident about your self-worth will usually make it easier to stop obsessing over feelings of jealousy, ultimately leaving you with more energy to strengthen your relationship.
- Show compassion to yourself. Admit it when you fall victim to jealous, and assure yourself that it’s a natural feeling you don’t need to be ashamed of. Only by accepting the feeling at face value can you learn to overcome it.
- Take time to focus on your own interests independent of the relationship. Developing yourself as an individual can make it easier to see what you bring to the relationship, which can make it easier to accept that your boyfriend loves you.

1 Ignore him. If your ex-boyfriend is intentionally trying to throw his new relationship in your face, giving him a jealous response will mean giving him exactly what he wants. Don’t respond when he talks to you via email, texting, or social media. If he tries making you jealous in person, reply in as neutral a manner as possible before ending the conversation and walking away.
- In addition to not replying to him directly, you also need to resist the temptation to post that vague, passive-aggressive status update on Facebook or Twitter, and avoid complaining to mutual friends who might let him know.
- Stay persistent. It’s possible that he may put more effort into making you jealous initially, but if you’re consistent, he should eventually get the message that it won’t work.
2 Limit his opportunities. If he’s especially stubborn and the behavior is really getting to you, respond by cutting him off. Unfriend, unfollow, and block him via social media. If things get really bad, block his phone number from your phone and mark his email address as spam.
- He might temporarily feel pleased upon realizing that he succeeded in making you upset, but now that he’s unable to continue the behavior, he’ll have no choice but to stop it.
3 Avoid rebounds. You might feel tempted to fight fire with fire-or, in this case, fight jealousy with jealousy-but this usually isn’t a good idea. Getting into a new relationship just to make your ex jealous won’t be fair to you or the new guy you start dating.
- Furthermore, flaunting around a new boyfriend you genuinely like can damage the new relationship, too. Using your boyfriend to get back at your ex keeps your focus on the old relationship-and adding fuel to the fires of jealousy will mean keeping the war between you and your ex alive indefinitely. You’ll be much better off cutting ties with your ex and focusing on your attentions solely on your new sweetheart.
4 Resist the temptation to get back together. Even if the opportunity to get back together with your ex comes up, and even if you’re tempted to take it, don’t. An ex who goes out of his way to make you jealous is clearly capable of hurting you. This is not the sort of guy who’s worthy of your love and affection.

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If your current boyfriend continues to intentionally make you jealous even after you talk things through, you might need to seek couples’ therapy to work out your issues. In the worst case scenario, the issues standing between you may not be resolvable, and it might be in your best interest to end things.
If an ex-boyfriend escalates his behavior when you start ignoring him by harassing you or making threats, you might need to file a police report.

When your boyfriend is the guy who’s trying to make you jealous, try your best to stay calm and use “I” statements to describe how his behavior makes you feel.
If your boyfriend is feeling insecure in your relationship, do your best to offer some reassurance by complimenting him and showing him love.

Why is he trying to get my attention?

7. If he really listens, it’s a hint he’s trying to get your attention – What does it mean when a guy tries to get your attention? It means he’s interested in everything you have to say and wants to make it clear that he’s listening to you when you’re talking.

He won’t zone out, he won’t use his phone, and he’ll say the right things when you’re done talking.
A guy who is attracted to you and wants you to notice that fact won’t just let down his guard in front of you without making sure that you feel comfortable enough to do the same with him.
He wants to get to know you better and will create a safe space where you can be yourself.

Bryant McGill said, “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” That’s why he listens intently when you talk. Every little detail of your conversations registers with him. You rarely have to repeat yourself because he remembers the little things you mention in passing, and you’ve often noticed how thoughtful he is.

Do guys get jealous even if they don’t like you?

1. When men fall in love they become jealous – Ironically, love is the most common cause of jealousy for men. Most men have a hard time accepting their potential partner’s interest in others and their interactions with them. This jealousy comes from love and it can be kind of sweet and healthy.

The envy here springs out of two reasons: the fear of losing the woman they love to someone else, and the owner’s instinct.
Men are usually protective and possessive of the women they love or have feelings for.
Even if you are not committed to a man, he could get jealous on account of all the stares you get when you walk into a room.

If you’re still wondering, “Do guys get jealous when other guys look at you?”, the answer is an astounding yes. So, the next time you’re thinking, “Why is he jealous?”, it’s probably because he’s into you and the possibility of another man winning you over is driving him insane. Men become jealous in love

What kind of woman do narcissists like?

Why Strong Women and Narcissists Attract Each Other

It is a common misconception that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners. What appears to be an overabundance of self-assurance in a narcissist, is a protective wall, blocking insecurity and lack of self-confidence. Narcissists often feel safe with strong partners as they have always struggled with a consistent parent figure.

Source: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and, In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.

While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity. What appears to be an overabundance of self-assurance is actually a protective wall designed to block the narcissist from acknowledging his own insecurity and lack of,

At the same time, the narcissist uses that sense of self-confidence and assurance to portray a that is attractive to a confident, successful woman. She looks for a man who does not need her ongoing support and who has the strength and ability to manage any situation.

Confident women can be swept off their feet by an abundance of, Most narcissists can assume any interest or focus in the initial stages of, They become the partner the woman has always looked for. They do it with enough to carry on the charade for a short period of time until the relationship has solidified.

They can start to reveal their true personality. Narcissists often feel safe with strong partners as they have always struggled with a consistent parent figure. When you take charge, manage life effectively, and create your own success, this becomes a draw for the narcissist.

Why does a narcissist want you to react?

10 Truths Narcissists Want to Hide from You Working with clients in any kind of narcissistic relationship (marriage, parent, friend, co-worker) is one of my most favorite things. And it seems there are a lot of you out there, because I’ve been getting a lot more questions about this topic lately.

Understanding how narcissists work and how to untangle yourself from the toxic relationship is no small task.
Narcissists play mind games, and you need to be able to get your head clear and have reality come into focus in order to recover.
Here are 10 truths your narcissist doesn’t want you to know.
I will use “he” for simplicity, but women can be narcissists too.) 1.

He sees all emotional reaction as attention. Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.

The best thing you can do is not react.
I often tell my clients to use fewer words – don’t bother getting into a discussion or trying to explain your point – it won’t work, and only gets you sucked further into his crazy, which is what he wants.
So, say little, walk away, and extract yourself.2.
They try to keep the relationship not to love you, but to control you.

When a rift of any kind does occur in the relationship, he tries to get you back – with false promises – not because he really wants a better, healthy relationship with you, but because he wants to control you. He must win. He must have the final say. This is part of the abuse cycle.

He wants you back for his own purposes.3. All his thoughts are focused on getting attention and feeling special. Everything in his life, and I mean everything, are about filling that bottomless pit inside him that needs to feel superior, special, and the focus of attention. Don’t be fooled – what might seem like a kind act almost always has a hidden agenda to serve his own purposes.

Nothing is a higher priority to him than feeling special.4. He says he will change, but he won’t really. He might say he’s sorry, but he won’t change is behavior. He says a token sorry to keep you around, but most likely he is blaming you through the backdoor.

It might sound something like this, “I’m sorry that I looked through your phone, but if you were more honest with me, I wouldn’t have to do that.” He’s making it your fault, and his behavior changing is conditional on you changing yours – which likely isn’t the problem in the first place. He won’t really make changes.5.

He doesn’t want you to know you are lovable and have power in the relationship. Your narcissist wants you to feel small, unlovable, powerless, and without value. This is how he controls you. He absolutely doesn’t want you to live in the truth that you are lovable and have the power to make your own choices because then he loses control over you.

Don’t believe the lies.6. It does not hurt him to hurt you. He hurts you all the time – but it doesn’t hurt him. Again, his top priority is himself, feeling important and better than others. If that means he must hurt you to ensure he feels that way he will and won’t think twice about it. He’s not sorry.7.

He does not want you to feel safe and secure in the relationship. The narcissist wants you to feel unsteady and unsafe. This means emotionally unsafe and can include physically or sexually unsafe as well. This gives him more control over you and makes him feel powerful.8.

He wants you to feel like the “bad guy”.
He wants you to think that all the problems in the relationship are your fault.
You make him the way he is; you don’t love him well enough; you don’t give him what he needs.
Maybe you are so negative, you’re never happy, and no one likes you.
If he can blame you for everything, he has the upper hand, and again, feels more important and in control.9.

He will never be proven wrong. This goes with saying fewer words. Don’t get into any kind of argument or debate with a narcissist. He is a master at manipulation and will always turn it back on you. He will never say, “Oh, okay, now I see what you’re saying.

Yes, I was wrong.” It’s not worth your effort to have the conversation, because you will never win the discussion.
You win when you get out of the conversation and set a boundary to protect your own sanity.10.
He doesn’t want to lose control.
The greatest fear of the narcissist is to lose control over you.

In my work with clients, this is a challenge, because as people get healthier and set firm boundaries, the narcissist will act out more. He knows he’s losing control and can’t handle it. You must be able to tolerate his acting out – it’s not your job to soothe him or make him feel better when he’s upset about your boundary.

What drives a narcissist insane?

11 Ways to Drive a Narcissist Crazy and Flip the Script

Narcissists love attention, so don’t give it to them. When a narcissist walks into the room, don’t even glance over at them—make them come to you. When they text you, wait a couple of hours before responding to make them squirm. The more you act like you don’t care about them, the more frustrated they’ll get.
- If they ever bring it up to you, act like you have no idea what they’re talking about.
- “What? I wasn’t ignoring you. I’ve just been really busy lately.”

Shatter a narcissist’s large ego by pointing out their flaws. Narcissists tend to believe that they’re better than everyone else. You can point out that this isn’t true by giving them some feedback on their behavior. Not only will it drive them nuts, but it may even, too.
- “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say. I think you should apologize.”
- “When you talk down to me like that, I feel belittled. Let’s try to talk nicely to each other from now on.”

Force a narcissist to experience consequences when they mess up. Narcissists love to push your boundaries, and they’ll keep pushing until they get punished for it. If you really want to get under a narcissist’s skin, clearly, and then follow through with the consequences if they cross them.
- “If you keep calling me names, I’m going to walk away. I can’t talk to someone who doesn’t respect me.”
- “You can’t belittle me in public like that. If that happens again, we won’t be hanging out anymore.”

Make a narcissist feel less than others by pointing out their flaws. When you point out their flaws in front of other people, they can no longer pretend that they’re the best person in the room. The next time you’re out with friends or at a family gathering, try pointing out some flawed things about a narcissist.
- “You lose your temper easily, you know that? Maybe you should take some anger management classes.”
- “Ouch, that was pretty harsh. There’s no need to yell—we’re all friends here!”

Narcissists can’t handle feeling inferior to other people. Narcissists already compare themselves to others, but they only do it when they’re shown in a positive light. You can get under a narcissist’s skin by pointing out the achievements of others to create a negative comparison. This shows the narcissists that other people are better than them, which is tough for their egos to handle.
- “Did you see that Jenny got a promotion yesterday? She only got hired there a year ago! That’s much less time than you’ve been at the company.”
- “I’m so impressed by Harry’s art. His Instagram following is huge! Maybe you should get some tips from him on promoting your art.”

Take control of a narcissist’s schedule to upset them. Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
- You can also mess up their day by spontaneously changing your plans. Made reservations at a restaurant? Cancel them, then text the narcissist to meet you somewhere else instead.

Narcissists want an emotional reaction, so don’t give it to them. When a narcissist is calling you names or yelling at you, it’s normal to get angry or upset. However, try to stay calm and give as little of a reaction as possible. If you don’t get riled up, they can’t add any fuel to their own fire, and they’ll eventually peter out.
- Having trouble staying calm? Try or counting to 10 in your head.
- You can also give very unenthusiastic or sarcastic replies to show how uninterested you are. Say things like “Oh, wow,” or, “Hmm,” to quickly,

Narcissists love to spin things in their favor, so don’t let them. You may have noticed that every time you, they use emotional attacks to “win.” The next time you’re in a disagreement with a narcissist, only tell them the facts, and stick to things that can be proven.
- “Are you sure you didn’t say that? I have screenshots of the texts you sent me this morning. Here, look.”
- “But you were invited to that party—we all were. Look, I have the invitation in my email right here.”

A narcissist may try to control you, so don’t let them. When a narcissist latches onto you, they’ll often try to make decisions for you or influence you in little ways. You can really make them squirm by not taking their advice and instead going forward with your own plans.
- “Yeah, I know you wanted me to go to college, but taking a gap year is better for me right now.”
- “Being a doctor would be a great career path, but that’s not what I want. I’d like to be a teacher instead.”

Make a narcissist feel threatened by striving for success. Even though meeting your own goals has nothing to do with a narcissist, they often see other people’s happiness as a personal attack against them. You can easily get under a narcissist’s skin by simply focusing on your goals and taking steps every day to achieve them.
- Narcissists lack empathy, which is why they can’t be happy for you (or anyone else).
- When you do achieve a goal, be sure to post about it on social media or tell mutual friends about it so it gets back to the narcissist in your life.

Narcissists are secretly scared of being left all alone. If you really want to drive a narcissist nuts, break things off with them. Stay firm in your decision, and don’t fall for any of the false promises they might use to win you back.
- Narcissists can’t handle being broken up with, so be prepared for a lot of love-bombing as a way to win you over. If that doesn’t work, a narcissist may resort to spreading rumors about you or talking about you behind your back.

Ask a Question Advertisement Co-authored by: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Jay Reid is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA.

He specializes in helping clients who have survived a narcissistic parent or partner.
Treatment focuses upon helping clients identify and challenge self-diminishing beliefs as a result of narcissistic abuse.
Jay holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and an MS in Clinical Psychology from Penn State University.

This article has been viewed 24,922 times.

Co-authors: 3
Updated: August 15, 2022
Views: 24,922

Categories: Medical Disclaimer The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 24,922 times. : 11 Ways to Drive a Narcissist Crazy and Flip the Script

How do men act when jealous?

Checking your phone, texts, and emails to see who you’re talking to – Jealousy is something everyone experiences at some point or another. It’s important to remember that jealousy is not always the devil so many make it out to be, as jealousy can inspire you to change and grow. And on the flip side, it can also make you feel small and inadequate. Some signs that he’s jealous are:

Checking your phone, texts, and emails to see who you’re talking to and what you’re saying either about him or someone else. It is never a good idea to violate someone’s privacy; it makes everyone feel uncomfortable and can highlight trust issues. Counting and comparing himself to you, I like to refer to this as keeping a “scorecard.” He might be jealous of how many friends you have, how many nights a month you go out without him, how much money you make, or how your career is soaring. Regardless of the what, when there is a counting up of what you have versus what he has, jealousy is involved. Doesn’t congratulate or celebrate you, A sure sign that he’s jealous is when you accomplish something, and he doesn’t acknowledge or celebrate your success. Someone who’s feeling small and inadequate can’t celebrate success in others as it’s another reminder of what they haven’t achieved. A subtle but poignant criticism of something you’ve achieved is another indication of jealousy. Criticizing your achievement of “only” running a 5k could be a sign that he’s feeling inadequate. He’s trying to make you feel the smallness he feels inside.

Your best response to his feelings of jealousy is to speak to it directly with curiosity. For each instance, you might say:

“Hey, I noticed you’re checking my phone. Is everything alright? In the future, I’d appreciate you ask me directly about what you’re looking for, as I feel a bit violated by you checking my phone without asking first.” “You seem to be keeping a scorecard of our differences. Is there anything you feel that you’d like to discuss?” ” I noticed you didn’t acknowledge or congratulate me on my recent promotion, and it hurt my feelings. Is there something about my promotion that’s hurtful to you? I’d love to talk about it.” “I noticed you subtly made light of my 5K run. I am very proud of myself, but I can tell you’re having different feelings about it.”

With each of these responses to his different ways of expressing jealousy, you are not taking it personally like something about you, and you’re asking for him to take accountability for his feelings and putting out there that you’ve noticed his responses. Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD Board-Certified Psychiatrist, TheMindFool

Will making him jealous make him like me more?

Infographic: Ways To Make Him Jealous Over Texts – A little jealousy in a relationship can help strengthen your bond and bring you closer. But you should ensure that you do not go overboard while trying to make him jealous and, in turn, end up hampering the integrity of the relationship. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

How does a narcissist treat a woman?

They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.

How does a narcissist choose a girlfriend?

Narcissists or similar types of abusers will benefit from certain traits of the other parties in their relationships. The following list includes some of these traits. If you are a partner (also known as co-narcissist) of a narcissistic abuser, then use this list to help make the necessary changes you need to protect yourself.

Forgiving.
Narcissists benefit from being with people who will forgive them for being hurtful.
They will continuously hurt you, so in order for them to continue in the relationship, they need to be with someone who does not hold grudges. Loyal.
Narcissists require loyalty.
That being said, the loyalty is only one way.

Many narcissists demand loyalty from their partners, while hypocritically betraying the relationship themselves; sometimes by even cheating on their partners, with no remorse. Overlooks the bad. Only sees the good in others. Co-narcissists often overlook peoples bad traits, tending to focus mainly on the good.

If the narcissist has a bad temper, their partner may overlook this trait, focusing instead, on how good looking he/she is.
Overlooking the bad is necessary for maintaining a relationship with a narcissist, for obvious reasons.
Have external locus of control.
In other words, targets of narcissists are often people who are not self-referencing, but, rather are other-referencing; that is, they do not look internally for their decision making, such as by asking How do I feel about this? Rather, co-narcissists, evaluate decisions by how the other person might react, with no concern for the self.

Self-Sacrificing. Narcissists love to find partners who are self-sacrificing. Narcissists dont have any desire to focus on the victims needs. He/she needs a partner who is willing to have no needs, that way, he/she can always make sure only the narcissist is taken care of.

Overly Responsible. Victims of narcissistic abuse tend to take on the responsibilities of others without even realizing it. Since narcissists are very emotionally, relationally, and otherwise, irresponsible, having a partner pick of the pieces helps keep the process going. After all, someone needs to raise the kids and pay the bills.

Accommodating. Narcissists want to have their own way. They tend to be rule-oriented and controlling. They are inflexible. It benefits narcissists to have partners who are willing to go with the flow and not make a big deal over anything, ever. If you are willing to not get your way, be extremely flexible, and willing to bend and compromise away your desires, schedule, wants, and needs, then you are exactly what a narcissist wants in his/her life.

If you believe your partner is abusing you and taking advantage of your good traits, then you can do something about it. You dont necessarily need to stop having all of the awesome traits listed above, you just need to be wise and use discernment about when to display these traits. Remember the verse in scripture, Dont throw your pearls before swine? It is helpful to use this saying when dealing with an abusive person.

You can still possess these great traits, but you dont have to bring them out for another person to exploit. You can stop being forgiving, loyal, outward focused, self-sacrificing, overly-responsible, and accommodating when dealing with any person who isnt going to appreciate these traits in you.

This is called wisdom and discernment, How to implement wisdom and discernment: Wisdom is the lessons you have learned from lifes experiences. If you are reading this article you have already become wise to the ways of a narcissist. You are probably aware of how you have been abused by this person. This means, that in exchange for the negative experiences youve had, you have gained wisdom.

You understand on a deep level what it means to be in a relationship that is toxic and exploitative of others. Wisdom tells you to think before acting. Discernment involves making choices based on wisdom. Once you realize that your good traits are being used as tools for your partner to manipulate you with, you can make decisions regarding when and with whom you will demonstrate your good traits.

What is intentional jealousy?

Intentional jealousy is a form of jealousy, which one of the partners can use with a specific function, for example as a specific tool against a partner or achieve some kind of benefit. Flirting, men paying attention to other women, talking about friends of opposite sex, talking about old love, etc.

What is the psychology behind jealous people?

– Jealousy can be a sign of insecurity. Jealousy is a fear of losing something you already have, like a relationship or friendship. People who deal with jealousy may often feel threatened by other people. You may also feel that you are in competition with others, even if you’re not.

low self-esteem neuroticismhostilityrigidity social anxiety

While jealousy can be a sign of insecurity, this isn’t always the case. A variety of situations can also cause insecurity. For example, criticism can lead to feelings of insecurity or inadequacy for some people. Common signs of insecurity can include:

feelings of inadequacyjealousyuncertaintyanxiety within relationshipslow self-esteem feeling unworthy lack of confidencestriving for perfection

Sabrina Sarro